tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43324780243732637252024-02-20T10:43:34.127-08:00The Eliza Doolittle ProjectIn a state of perpetual reinvention, striving to better myself, my family, my home, and my life. Without the marbles in the mouth trick.the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-10039698276067198742014-05-25T07:51:00.000-07:002014-05-25T07:51:00.920-07:00SHARKNADO!i'm apparently late to the shark party.<br />
<br />
<img src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" /><br />
<br />
that's not really a surprise. ever since i had kids, i'm generally late to everything. but every now and then, my children bully their way into having a sleepover with a beloved relative and i get to play catch up on pop culture references. that's how my love affair with <i>sharknado</i> began.<br />
<br />
as my husband and i settled down for what we'd hoped to be a romantic night of watching SyFy B-movies and eating various flavors of doritos, we immediately had the feeling that <i>Sharknado</i> would be something...special. or at least i did because i'm pretty sure the hubz didn't make it to tara reid's house in the film.<br />
<br />
again, pesky kids.<br />
<br />
i'm not going to give you a play-by-play here. it's a syfy film. you already know that means shitty CGI and green screen. i will just give you the highlights:<br />
<br />
1. john heard - imagine what would have happened to kevin mcallister's dad if his wife left him after forgetting their son a second time and took all the kids with her. he'd go to the beach, find a local watering hole, and hit on the scantily clad underaged bartender. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT SAD OLD MEN DO. but then, because he raised a son who was so adept at saving himself from thieves and robbers, he'd redeem himself slightly with little more than a barstool, a poignant symbol of both his downfall and his redemption. somewhere, there's a dog named after whatever his character's name was, i'm sure of it.<br />
<br />
2. nova - someday, i'm going to survive a traumatic shark attack (my emotional scars will be obvious by my daddy issues and wardrobe choices) and have the world's ugliest, fakest scars mar my perfectly toned body. then, i'm going to live on the beach and work at a job where, like hooters, i'll be forced to expose my long, toned limbs every day, forcing the casually observant to notice my scars and ask me about them. then i will lie about the origins of the scars until i meet someone who fell down a slide at the park, FOR ONLY HE CAN TRULY UNDERSTAND MY PAIN. then, we'll drop motherfucking bombs into the motherfucking sharknadoes together, saving the world and falling in love. until i am swallowed whole by a great white. did i mention I REALLY HATE SHARKS.<br />
<br />
3. that dude from baywatch - remember logan from baywatch? here, he is EPIC as the australian friend with nothing to lose but perhaps his leg and his life. my second favorite scene involves the campy australian in a hardware store dropping knowledge about how tornadoes are formed to a bunch of half naked kids who are building bombs without the use of the internet.<br />
<br />
4. tara reid's house - it's nice to see tara reid getting work. by which i mean not more botched plastic surgery. my third favorite scene happens at tara reid's house where her terrible boyfriend colin discovers the cardinal rule of being a dick in a made-for-tv-horror-film usually means you die a horrible fucking death first. it's also here where we learn there is a son - because the writers probably figured that they needed a reason to keep the characters from just going inland so they added another emotional heartstring to keep us firmly entrenched in snarknado territory. or should i say...terrortory.<br />
<br />
5. the end - okay, i'm saving the best for last but this happens:<br />
<br />
<img src="http://schmoesknow.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/3014240-poster-p-sharknado-twitter-weather-center.jpg" /><br />
<br />
and then, just when we think all hope is lost, ian zeiring chainsaws his way out of the great white, carving a makeshift sharkvagina and birthing himself (and the blood drenched nova). it is EXACTLY what shakespeare envisioned for macduff (NONE OF WOMAN BORN SHALL HARM SHARKNADO!) but clearly lacked the technology to make it truly sing. i almost wet myself laughing.<br />
<br />
my husband snored gently and missed the whole thing.<br />
<br />
i don't know. i love that syfy has become the ed wood of my generation. these campy, terribly written little gems have found a home and given me a simple hope for the future.<br />
<br />
that hope is sharknado 2.<br />
<br />
<br />the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-9198128289069835042014-01-13T17:04:00.002-08:002014-01-13T17:13:06.264-08:00Sherlock: His Last Vow - Pressure PointsSo, my awesome sister made screencaps of Sherlock's pressure points.<br />
<br />
<img alt="Displaying photo.PNG" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=5772c6ff37&view=fimg&th=1438e495160cf9c3&attid=0.1&disp=inline&safe=1&attbid=ANGjdJ_VTHyNgZhUCr0nxgSsWeQGv7jDA8_bK0RS4Rv8KkQSVbwn1pJV-lkJK8DswLQ8761zBHFByZ0WiY-g-HhFA8kTIF-q9Qi7XVQgKfKSZnVzoEBb5KOLKXqCpRM&ats=1389661892868&rm=1438e495160cf9c3&zw&sz=w1254-h511" /><br />
I think we're going to need to talk about them. It appears that there are six that repeat:<br />
<br />
1. Irene Adler<br />
2. Jim Moriarty<br />
3. John Watson<br />
4. Opium<br />
5. Hounds of the Baskerville<br />
6. Redbeard<br />
<br />
Some of these are fairly obvious. Pressure points seems to mean "something I can exploit or use against you" in Magnusson-ese. Sherlock's drug use is a fairly obvious point in that regards. As is Irene Adler or John Watson. I'm not entirely sure why Sherlock's dog fits the bill - but they certainly made a big deal of that darn puppy in this week's final episode. To me, the two names on this list of note are Jim Moriarty and Hounds of the Baskerville.<br />
<br />
Jim features prominently in the episode. A little trapped voice telling him not to fear pain. Obviously these things help set up the final moments of the episode; I get that.<br />
<br />
So what's up with the Hounds???<br />
<br />
It definitely doesn't say HOUND, so I doubt it refers to the drug. I feel like it's either just a catchy little canonical nod or something big I missed in an episode I didn't find that impressive initially.<br />
<br />
The other thing I want you to start thinking about is the notion of brothers. Mycroft was in his fraternal glory this week; Sherlock is his pressure point. Got it. But there's that weird line at the end when he's discussing what's to be done with his wayward murdering brother. Something along the lines of "you know what happened with the other one."<br />
<br />
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!<br />
<br />
Is there another Holmes boy out there? Is it supposed to be Moriarty? WHAT DID I MISS?<br />
<br />
Oh, yeah, I missed Jim.<br />
<br />
I should probably also wonder why Sherlock isn't on John's list. But I'm not going to. Sherlock would never willingly let himself be a liability to John, at least as far as I can tell.<br />
<br />
That's all I got for now.the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-17040762122515254302014-01-13T06:46:00.000-08:002014-01-13T06:46:30.033-08:00Sherlock: His Last Vow (Series 3, Episode 3) - I MISSED YOU!!!Okay, I've calmed down a little. Not much, but a little.<br />
<br />
<br />
Last night's season ender was epic. Not, I think, my favorite all-time Sherlock episode, but certainly an excellent addition to what has been a fairly amazing season.<br />
<br />
First things first: I TOLD YOU SO.<br />
<br />
While not entirely evil, Mary certainly catapulted into the realm of "complicated" last night. I knew she was way too clever with the code deciphering and the successful playing of both Sherlock and Watson. And, of course, the "liar" and "linguist" warnings from Sherlock's initial reading of her.<br />
<br />
I didn't exactly see her shooting Sherlock, though. But my Sherlock-senses were definitely tingling whenever she was on scene.<br />
<br />
Things I Loved About Last Night's Episode:<br />
<br />
1. Mary - I was worried they were going to straight up villainize her. They didn't. They made her complicated and worthy of a second chance. They also pointed out what everyone already knew: John loves himself a dangerous sociopath. There was no way Mary and he could be happy if she weren't. I'm pretty sure I fist-bumped myself when my earlier deductions were remotely right, though.<br />
<br />
2. Moriarty - While it was great to see Moriarty trapped in Sherlock's mind dungeon, it was even greater to see him serve as the perverted deus-ex-machina, saving Sherlock from exile (and, perhaps, most likely death) with his timely return. Of course, there are so many questions here. Is he really back or is this someone using Moriarty's image? How did Moriarty fake his own death? Have the writers decided to go off canon now? It doesn't really matter, of course, since I'm about to pee my pants with excitement about Season 4 regardless.<br />
<br />
3. Sherlock fighting death - This entire scene was incredible. My husband said this and I totally agree: they've gotten so much better about showing Sherlock "think" as the seasons go on. Here, it's a mind palace on the brink of collapse. Molly and Mycroft serve as prompters, getting Sherlock to make the necessary calls to save his own life, but it's Moriarty, still tormenting from his padded cell, that really highlights the bond these two sociopaths share, even in death.<br />
<br />
4. Molly - Season 3 Molly not only got to kiss Sherlock (albeit in Anderson's fantasy - do with that what you will - although Sherlock did give her a little cheek peck later) but also gets to slap him as well. You go, girl! Molly is braver, feistier, and less likely to suffer fools. When she slaps Sherlock for squandering his gifts, you know it isn't just about that.<br />
<br />
5. Sherlock playing human - I'd earlier lamented that they were trying too hard to humanize Sherlock this season, while hoping it was for a greater purpose. Seems it was. While Sherlock clearly has special emotional dispensations for Watson, he is in his element abusing the emotions of Jeanine (last week's bridesmaid) in order to get what he needs/wants. And, of course, we poignantly see him reaffirm his high-functioning sociopathy at the end when he shoots Magnusson in the head. Not a very elegant Holmesian solution, I fear. I hope they won't waste any time on Sherlock feeling guilty about that next season.<br />
<br />
6. Christmas - Sherlock's parents are back! This time, for Christmas! And we see just how amazing a Holmes' family Christmas can be. We learn that it's Holmes's mother who is the "genius" (a mathematician turned mommy) - which is probably Moffat's way of saying "See, I'm not a misogynist!' Still, when Sherlock drugs them all to run off to catch Magnusson, you just feel so warm and fuzzy and right.<br />
<br />
7. Wiggins - In season one, one of the homeless network girls was named Wiggins. Which was cute and all, but I was hoping Wiggins would be a far more central figure. Prayers answered! The role gets recast here as a junky with a budding interest in deductions and chemistry.<br />
<br />
Things I Didn't Love:<br />
<br />
1. Magnusson - Sure, he gets shot in the head, but that's so not satisfying. We watch Sherlock because we want to see him mentally best the baddie. Not shoot them in their mind palaces. This felt like a copout or misdirection solely to get to the amazing punchline of the season. And that's a shame, because the guy playing Magnusson was so creepy he could have been a truly special villain. Instead, we just have to take it from Sherlock that he was the most dangerous opponent they've ever come up against. Having Sherlock win by default (if murder can be considered default) feels most unsatisfactory.<br />
<br />
Things I Will Obsess Over:<br />
<br />
1. AGRA - I'm guessing these initials are the IOU red-herring of Season Three but I can't help to think that Mary's identity and the mysterious USB are a clue I'm somehow missing. Besides, if nothing else, knowing a rogue agent is on your team to fight Moriarty has got to feel good.<br />
<br />
2. Did you miss me? I had a feeling this was coming about halfway through the episode. They've used Andrew Scott a lot this year; for a guy who's supposed to be dead, he certainly was getting a fair bit of screen time. If he's really back, that should be an epic season 4. If he's not, it should still be pretty amazing. But I do worry. Now that Sherlock is a "murderer" - what's the incentive at beating Moriarty at his own game? They sacrificed a little of Sherlock's integrity this season and I don't know how or if they'll be able to successfully reclaim it in any meaningful way.<br />
<br />
More after the rewatch!<br />
<br />the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-40869010307737001872014-01-12T17:03:00.000-08:002014-01-12T17:03:08.168-08:00Sherlock: His Last Vow (Series 3, Episode 3)Guys.<br />
<br />
Holy shit.<br />
<br />
I'm going to need a minute.<br />
<br />
Or a year.<br />
<br />
To process that episode.<br />
<br />
Can I spoil it a little???<br />
<br />
Just a little.<br />
<br />
Moriarty lives.<br />
<br />
Maybe.<br />
<br />
More later! MUST REWATCH AND PROCESS!the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-84685346796102512142014-01-07T09:53:00.000-08:002014-01-07T09:53:58.007-08:00FiftyFiftyMe: The Hamlet Trap (Book #3)<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">(sung to the tune of "Let's Get Together" from the seminal flick The Parent Trap)</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Let's commit murder, yeah yeah yeah.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Why don't you and I combine?</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Let's commit murder, what do you say?</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">We can have a swinging time.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">We'd be a crazy team.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Hey, let's make a crime scene...Together!</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">oh, oh, oh, oh</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Let's commit murder, yeah yeah yeah.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Think of all those we could kill.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Let's commit murder, everyday</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Every way...it's such a thrill..</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">And though we haven't got a lot,</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">We could be homicidal til we're caught. Together.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Oh! I really think you're sick.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Uh huh! We'll beat you with a stick..</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Oo wee! And if you stick with me</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">All the ways we'd harm her, say hey Jeffrey Dahmer.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Let's commit murder, yeah yeah yeah.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Two is twice as nice as one.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Let's commit murder, right away.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">We'll be having twice the fun.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">And you can always count on me.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">A gruesome twosome we will be.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Together, yeah yeah yeah.</span></span></div>
the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-63850347684538641012014-01-06T09:09:00.001-08:002014-01-06T09:09:56.326-08:00FiftyFiftyMe: Takedown Twenty (Book #2)i've stopped buying stephanie plum books. sure, i still read them, but now i wait for weeks and weeks to get them from the library instead of shelling out good money for crap fiction.<br />
<br />
this one was pretty not good.<br />
<br />
first, the beginning chapters read like a warped version of the babysitter club series where stephanie introduced us to each and every person in her life as if we hadn't been there with her for the last 19 installments.<br />
<br />
this is lulu. lulu dressed like a ho. but lulu ain't no ho. except lulu is considering become a ho again so she can get an expensive purse.<br />
<br />
to each their own, i guess.<br />
<br />
i don't recall evanovich ever just listing her exposition in a fucked-up little litany of who is who before. but maybe i just usually skim those parts more.<br />
<br />
it has been awhile since i've read one of these.<br />
<br />
if i were grading this novel, in the margins, i'd have written "show, don't tell!" about 24249 times, so, maybe the introductions were the least of her problems.<br />
<br />
i recently wrote a review about comedy in literature being written like it's amped up to eleven. if that's the case generally speaking, here, it's amped up to at least thirteen. stephanie is, perhaps, even klutzier than usual - maybe because of bella putting the "eye" on her - or maybe because she's getting a little too old to be traipsing around trenton, getting shot at and blowing up cars that don't belong to her.<br />
<br />
of course, the mystery here is so phoned in as to be ridiculous. i'm sorry, but if you don't figure out the calling card way in advance of stephanie and joe, you deserve to read the rest of these. the giraffe was a surreal little touch, but, of course, most of us are still reading these for the morelli-ranger-plum triangle.<br />
<br />
for an almost engaged woman, stephanie sure kisses ranger an awful lot.<br />
<br />
also, isn't it about time that she and morelli take another break so us rangerphanies can get ours a little?<br />
<br />
thanks ever so much.<br />
<br />
not that i'm anticipating hurrying to read the next installment. these are going the way of the sookie stackhouse books, only with no hint to an end in sight. which is a pity, because when evanovich is on, she's on! it's just not really happening here for me.<br />
<br />
2 stars - a few laughs, a quick read, but some awful exposition and hyperbolic comedy.the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-63200325123668804472014-01-05T17:49:00.001-08:002014-01-05T17:49:59.165-08:00Sherlock: Sign of Three (Series 3, Episode 2)Well, well, well, isn't this a horse of a different color? A second or middle episode that was actually pretty amazing.<br />
<br />
The Sign of Three was highly anticipated after Sherlock's auspicious return to television. At least highly anticipated in my home. But I was wary. There are some distinct tonal changes going on - Sherlock and Mycroft are far more human, far more accessible, than they were previously. Also, at times, the show teeters on campy. We saw that in the first episode with the Inspector Clouseau bit. Here, it's a bit more subtle, but I can't remember...well...laughing quite so hard at Sherlock in the past.<br />
<br />
Maybe I've just obsessively watched the humor out the older series?<br />
<br />
Maybe it's Mary. Can I just say how much I fucking love Mary? I'm serious. She's amazing. She plays both Watson and Sherlock so perfectly. And she doesn't dare try to come between them. I hope it lasts because, dang, is she incredible.<br />
<br />
I will give some major spoilers of tonight's episode. Here is your final warning. I won't tell you everything - because I've got small children and they're disruptive only in the 90 minute blocks I take for myself at bedtime. Tonight, it was adventures in potty training.<br />
<br />
Don't ask.<br />
<br />
Anyways, tonight was John's wedding. It did not disappoint. However, first, we saw the return of Donovan, who I'd hoped was away on traffic duty in Canterbury or something but apparently was not. We see her and Lestrade trying to crack down on an elusive gang of clown-faced bank robbers. They're on the brink of capture and police glory when...Sherlock texts! He needs help! Please! Come right away!<br />
<br />
Of course, he's texted enough that we all know he is no danger, but Lestrade, well, Lestrade is sticking truer the canon and is not a very good police detective so he calls for all kinds of major backup at Baker St. where a totally fine Sherlock is in the throws of a "best man speech writing" meltdown.<br />
<br />
Poor, Gavin. Er...Graham...uh...Greg.<br />
<br />
Of course, the thing with the robbers is either all a very elaborate lead up to that punchline or signs of future trouble to come.<br />
<br />
The writers are also doing this weird time-hopping thing that is making it difficult to know what time anything is happening in. Flashbacks are problematic that way. And we've definitely jumped forward from Sherlock's amazing return from the dead.<br />
<br />
Sherlock gives an amazing speech, if you're worried. He makes the audience laugh and cry and gives us hope of Sherlock's increasing interest in joining society successfully. Peppered throughout are cases the boys have worked on together, including an unsolved case of a bloody guardsman and a ghost boyfriend. There are also some pretty amazing interviews Sherlock conducts with various members of the wedding party. It's nice to see him connect so vividly with a young child.<br />
<br />
I'd totally let him babysit.<br />
<br />
I was curious to see how they'd handle the central mystery of the Sign of the Four (the locked room). It was actually pretty clever here, although, I dare say, I'd figured it out. I won't tell you how it's done, just pay attention to the filming. They give a little visual hinting with some of the shots.<br />
<br />
I also don't believe for a second that Sherlock would have trouble figuring out the intended target. That took way too long, but was fairly hysterical in the process.<br />
<br />
Also fun - Sherlock dancing, Sherlock's bridesmaid friend, Sherlock visualizing his chatroom (and those women!!!), and the drinking scene (Sherlock and John both get wasted and try to solve a crime; it is just as epic as you imagine).<br />
<br />
Of course, the major spoiler comes with the pun on the title. Changing the Four to Three in the title is surely designed to have people think of the new John-Mary-Sherlock triangle. Of course, we all forget how much the writers love a good pun.<br />
<br />
Mary is off-put by wine. She gets nervous and sick in the morning of her wedding. She's put on some weight.<br />
It doesn't really take a Sherlock to deduce what comes next.<br />
<br />
But it's really, really sweet when he does.<br />
<br />
<br />
See you after the rewatch.the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-65826901840303278842014-01-03T15:13:00.000-08:002014-01-03T15:44:51.534-08:00FiftyFiftyMe: Where'd You Go, Bernadette? (Book #1)<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">This is my first book of 2014, a year in which I hope to read more than every Fancy Nancy or Stephanie Plum out there. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I mean, I'll still read those other books, but I kinda hope I read some stuff that resembles "real" literature, too.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">First, a caveat: I feel the need to be spiritually pure for as long as possible this year, and, sadly, that means being honest in my reviews. Not that I usually lie, because I don't, but that sometimes I will say mean things. I will try not to be mean for mean's sake (unless I feel like the book deserves it) and I will make no personal attacks against the writer.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Unless some garbled up piece of fanfic gets mainstream popularity again.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Did I already break my book resolution?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I say this because I'm not really sure how I feel about this book at all. And, considering I've read it and thought about it for a while now, isn't probably a good thing.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">You need to understand: I get satire. I teach AP Lit to brilliant 12th graders. Or, I used to in a semi-former life (I'm on sabbatical). I'm not so rusty that it eludes me. This doesn't feel particularly like satire, unless Maria Semple is a mean girl who hates the Hollywood machine and Seattle housewives everywhere.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">And I don't think she does. Or I hope she doesn't. Because feminism! Or something.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">So, if she's not trying to make fun of reclusive geniuses everywhere or their aesthetically-minded, neurotic neighbors...I guess I'm not entirely certain what's the point.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">There is a distinct black comedy vibe here; and, with comedy, an author runs the risk that what you think is funny does not mesh with what another person deems hilarious. It's actually even worse in literature because everything has to be amped up to eleven (one does not simply fall into a lake in books; one trips on one's overly long pants thus causing them to spontaneously rip up the side revealing one's undergarments as one spins wildly out of control culminating in a ceremonious drenching in a local waterhole that happens to be populated by nuns and schoolchildren). If the reader is not on the same wavelength, comedy, sometimes, reads as "What the fuck?!" and that's not good for anyone.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I didn't know much about this book before I borrowed it from the library. I knew that it had an almost four star rating and that my aunt was sort of iffy on it while my cousin recommended it violently. Those were all pretty good indications I'd like this one well enough. The premise seemed a bit...dramatic...to me "reclusive architect disappears and brilliant teenaged daughter tries to find her". </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Let's just say, nothing particularly screamed "COMEDY!" to me. And so imagine my surprise when that was what I was faced with.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">This, obviously, worked against the novel for me. It was until about 100 pages in when I turned to my unsuspecting husband and said, "Huh. I think this is supposed to be funny." Which was better than thirty pages before when I told him I just didn't get the point.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">There's a lot going on in this one that is beyond the absurd: genius parents, art vs. science. social anxiety, stilted creativity, boarding school, Antarctica, lawsuits, interventions, TEDtalks, affairs, the Russian mafia, a house-destroying mudslide, unplanned pregnancies, drug rehabilitation wilderness camp, and an uncle named Van.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">This is a world where people act erratically and cash seems limitless. It's also a world where forgiveness and disappearance walk hand in hand, apparently.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I get the overwhelming greater message about creativity and being who you are and acceptance and love. I do. And, once I stopped trying so hard, it was much more fun to get lost in the crazy escapades of Bernadette and her kin. But no one here was particularly likable. First, Bernadette, who is our shining star, is batshit crazy. And, yeah, I know that genius and insanity are often a subtle dance held barely in check by creative outlet and the right combination of medication, but that's not what is happening here. I sympathized with her abhorrence for social interaction and nothing there seemed wildly out of sync with my preferred reality (which is probably saying something very telling about me). Obviously I'm way higher functioning than Bernadette ever was but it was not the off-putting part to me. Her reliance on the internet drone was weird, particularly that, for a genius, she was so quick to give away highly sensitive information like social security and bank account numbers.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">There is no way the Russian mob would have waited that long to take all of her cash.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">And I get why she leaves. The end sort of worked for me on that level. But she's not ever really approachable in scope. She feels, way too often, like the victim. A self-centered, highly neurotic, quirky, artistic victim that her husband indulges, her neighbor hates, and her daughter reveres.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">And Bee was one of those precocious book children that reads as impossible. And then her dad called her a little bitch and I got indignant until she agreed he was right.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Plus, what the hell was up with the Josh Groban thing?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I'm sure we were meant to laugh at Bee, while she weeps and tries to turn herself into the reincarnation of Jesus while listening to Christmas carols and sporting a bandanna advertising The Hangover, but I just couldn't do it.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I'm not into that level of absurdity.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">And this is before I get into Elgin, Soo-Lin, and Audrey.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Nobody seemed happy here. And maybe nobody really is. Was that the point? We are all weird locally-sourced architectural designs and when we fail it is because we designed ourselves to do so? Because damn that's bleak. But that's sort of what the first 2/3 of the book felt like to me. Like I was that damn house on the hill, just waiting for the bulldozers to come.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Then we went to Antartica and the tone shifted and we were light as blue ice and restored with hope and reunion.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">And that just confused me more.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">"Bernadette" is an interesting, if not at times upsetting, read. There are genuinely funny moments here, but, too often, absurd and cruel ones. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">3.5 stars - an inauspicious start to a new year.</span></span>the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-68677823684342923582014-01-03T08:55:00.000-08:002014-01-03T08:55:01.371-08:00An Open Letter to Chris KluweDear Mr. Kluwe,<br />
<br />
I'm having a sort of rough morning. My children are playing with Lalaloopsy dolls - do you have the unfortunate pleasure of knowing those? They're these Neil Gaiman-inspired plastic demons with pink hair and black button eyes. Someday, I will find one in my bed and that will be the end of me. But that is, I suppose, neither here nor there. The dolls have the stomach flu. This essentially means my children rip off the dolls overly ruffled, Japanime-inspired clothes and force me to redress them. Over and over. Ad infinitum. Ad nauseum. I was tired of listening to the repetitive chatter of the game. Sure, the first time you hear, "Mommy! Cookie Crumble has poop on her dress!" the adrenalin is enough to sustain you. By the thirteenth time, the game has lost its patina.<br />
<br />
That is how I came to read your article this morning. A diversionary expedition into the world of Facebook, a quick glimpse at George Takei's page, and suddenly I wished for the sweet banter of compulsive doll vomiting.<br />
<br />
I wanted to say thank you. And, I promise, I won't be too long-winded in doing so. I recently had a bouncy baby boy of my own (he will never be an NFL player at all, most likely) and when he was three months old I sat him down for an important talk. I told him that it was okay with me if he had a girlfriend when he got bigger. Or a boyfriend. He could be as asexual as Sherlock Holmes or a Kinsey six and he would always be welcome and loved in my home. And, to be fair, I've had this talk with all my children at some point in their infancy. My husband and I want our children to know - from very early on, apparently - that we accept them and we love them. I would honestly have a harder time raising a staunch conservative than I would a gay child (obviously, from a personal perspective. Society would be far more accepting of the former, despite the recent rise in popularity of <i>Glee</i> and <i>Modern Family</i>). We all have our prejudicial crosses to bear.<br />
<br />
When you first started writing about gay marriage rights, I began to have hope, for the first time in a long time, that equality in this capacity was possible in my lifetime. Your values, your prowess with a well-placed expletive, your calling out of those so vocally vile on the subject - these things warmed my heart. These are values that are important in our family; we believe that marriage rights are not exclusive to the straight population. We also believe you need to stand up for what you believe is morally right. Especially when it isn't easy for you to do so. We don't always practice what we preach, but we do try. And we work exceptionally hard not to make anyone feel like a second-class citizen. Even if they like country music or Chris Christie.<br />
<br />
We're also from the liberal northeast. There are many more like us up here than there are in other places. Perk of geography, I suppose.<br />
<br />
I thought what you were doing was brave. I also suspected you probably didn't see it that way. But, at the time, I was an unmarried mother of two, living my own small version of a non-traditional lifestyle and afraid of public retribution should my bastard babies become common knowledge. A professional football player being outspoken about the subject of equality was a courageous novelty, indeed.<br />
<br />
The last few weeks I've been a little down. Several of my "friends" on Facebook have been highly supportive of Phil Robertson's "freedom of speech." "Listen to what he's saying - he isn't judging! He just doesn't believe gay marriage is right! Everyone is entitled, nay, FREE to have their own opinion!" they'd clamor. Then they'd quote Sarah Palin or Ted Cruz or someone else I find politically and morally vile and they'd sit smugly back, confident that Phil should be revered because it gives him the heebie-jeebies to imagine two men having intercourse.<br />
<br />
They ignored the fact that Phil Robertson also made a pretty (pardon the horrific pun) off-color remark about "slaves" "smiling" before they were emancipated. And certainly none of those people are championing his right to marry a girl under the age of sixteen to avoid statutory rape charges. Or, if they are, they're not posting crappy memes about it on Twitterland.<br />
<br />
I hope they are truly happy that they've hitched their stars to his batshit crazy wagon.<br />
<br />
This was the Chik-Fil-A debacle all over again. Only, instead of people clamoring that the right to eat truly delicious fried chicken was on par with the rights of two same-sex people to marry, we have a dynastic duck patriarch as the misplaced idol.<br />
<br />
So, when I read your post this morning, the first thing I thought was: I wonder how many people will support Chris Kluwe. I expect, as I'm sure you do, many people will hold fast to the belief that you were fired for your performance, despite what the numbers say and despite what you remark about sacrificing your numbers for the betterment of the team. They'll cling to this version of facts because it's easier that way for them to keep their steadfast belief that two men or two women in love are somehow less than they are.<br />
<br />
They won't see you as a Phil Robertson, because they disagree with your politics. They'll use some ad hominem attack or reverse the logic that you getting fired for your political activism is, somehow, the same as Phil Robertson getting a paid vacation for his. The words "discrimination" and "faulty syllogism" mean nothing to these people; it isn't worth trying to explain it to them.<br />
<br />
But, again, I digress.<br />
<br />
The long and short of it is: in activism, often times, whether intentionally or not, people get thrust into the limelight as faces of the cause. This has been your lot, I'm afraid. While, perhaps, it came at the cost of your NFL career, it has opened doors for you that otherwise would have been closed. I suspect you'll write, you'll tweet, you'll game, and you'll support gay rights.<br />
<br />
That sounds like a pretty good life to me, too.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-54585008381033883422014-01-02T16:09:00.000-08:002014-01-02T16:09:35.248-08:00Sherlock Conspiracy Theory Rears Its Ugly (Fake) Head: More Thoughts and Spoilers from "The Empty Hearse"Okay, I'm sorry, but you see, I've become Anderson.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY1fsK_jnl4QruH2qhsDh0qFYfxt50BpQVaNSVKOY3xYMDqRkpEhZG5itaX82xj-yGm4VyRw2dtlHL3vF9hNmdhA0-os9NWV6eC5A-0dZ9fOE2XfdO3zEZS8T1lOeu4llHKkNPB1e-Sz0/s1600/anderson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY1fsK_jnl4QruH2qhsDh0qFYfxt50BpQVaNSVKOY3xYMDqRkpEhZG5itaX82xj-yGm4VyRw2dtlHL3vF9hNmdhA0-os9NWV6eC5A-0dZ9fOE2XfdO3zEZS8T1lOeu4llHKkNPB1e-Sz0/s320/anderson.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
And this is how I watch<i> Sherlock </i>now.<br />
<br />
Because of all my hard time watching and rewatching earlier episodes, I feel like I have a pretty excellent understanding of the Sherlockian universe. So, with all that said, there a few things still bothering me about yesterday's stunning return.<br />
<br />
1. The distinct tonal shift from the previous two seasons. <i>Sherlock</i> has always been a little campy (maniacally so with Andrew Scott's depiction of Moriarty) but it read heavily as drama first. Comic relief certainly occurs, but I'm pretty sure I debated crying for John during The Reichenbach Fall. With Sherlock's gleeful return comes a new surge of manic comedy. While some of it holds true to canon (Mrs. Hudson's histrionics with the frying pan, for example), others do not (Sherlock's nod to Inspector Clouseau). Look, I get that Sherlock meets John again when he is in disguise and that dressing up is something he does frequently. But the scene where he dresses up like a waiter and buffoonishly tromps around the restaurant is off-putting to say the least. And a far departure from the ancient bookseller he appears as in "The Empty House." It felt more like Italian farce and it was distinctly more playful than I recall pre-fall Sherlock being.<br />
<br />
2. Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary. Or, perhaps, distinctly not contrary at all. That, too, works with the canon - Mary was no shrew; she never tried to stop John from playing with Sherlock and recognized their work as important. But there is something up with Mary, yes? Let's look at another screencap of Sherlock's reading of her:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNmBgUn4gcqDh8A6WTOgiiVeqYEAkgCrE-afUuDMSFnAhFqcYiNB2xUf2CxIipptn1wjyxEQ9YEzIhHWs1vs1vSBwbz9KweZLm1fzii-sQ-6nZbxOGbM990saZ2C8ke0bTF8y2IVwkOzI/s1600/moremaryhead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNmBgUn4gcqDh8A6WTOgiiVeqYEAkgCrE-afUuDMSFnAhFqcYiNB2xUf2CxIipptn1wjyxEQ9YEzIhHWs1vs1vSBwbz9KweZLm1fzii-sQ-6nZbxOGbM990saZ2C8ke0bTF8y2IVwkOzI/s320/moremaryhead.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Here are the words of distinct interest to me: clever, shortsighted, guardian, linguist, secret, and liar. Don't get me wrong; I love that she's a size 12 (American size 8) and bakes her own bread, but those aren't really of importance to anything besides her waistline and the projected depiction of her as nurturing and maternal.<br />
<br />
A friend of mine argues that Guardian refers to the newspaper, not the role. I think it could be more than that. We already know her politics lean left, so whether or not she reads the Guardian is of little import (and, yes, I know that newspaper reading is a different thing altogether in England than it is here). That leaves two other possibilities: her <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guardian_temperament">personality type</a> (myer-briggs) is Guardian or that she operates in some capacity as a guardian herself (as a nurse, that would not be too great of a stretch. also, in intervening on Sherlock's behalf for John's betterment, she, too, seeks to protect and help her fiance). So, that's something to ponder. We also know she is a liar and I've given my thoughts about that as well. The fact that she's clever and a linguist are also particularly of note to me. If she's a nurse, Mary's linguistic skills might pay off with foreign patients. But a secret, clever, lying linguist with a part-time job? That sounds a little bit like my sister might be right and Mary might have been hired by Mycroft to keep tabs on John while Sherlock's away.<br />
<br />
Of course, there's another possibility: that Mary will somehow be connected to the big bad. We know precious little about Mary (I suspect we will have a far better picture after Sunday's<i> Sign of Three</i> when we meet whatever she has by way of friends or extended family). I keep thinking about John's abduction. It doesn't make sense. It bothers me. Why does the mystery man in the shadows want John? And, if it's to get to Sherlock specifically, why send the warning to Mary? Let's ponder our Big Bad a little more, shall we?<br />
<br />
3. Magnusson. I saw his name go by the bottom of the screen during the Anderson/Goth girl scene (I knew it was too funny and that they had to be trying to sneak something by me!) and googled him. Turns out, he's Milverton, the worst man in England, the blackmailer. And he operates out of the creepiest Island of Misfit Toys I've ever seen.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyswVIoeNjoSFsH5teWHIIRktk18qTYnQYIXBUbvO-CXLg7fdTzttQ4CS8xSZYS8YsNNKa9zHw-KhjiuHCIFQbSl6zW1OJEf8ooeoz9w5__B_cymhhz9VKkgu_8lBtESEN9hOOkDRqJlw/s1600/magnussen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyswVIoeNjoSFsH5teWHIIRktk18qTYnQYIXBUbvO-CXLg7fdTzttQ4CS8xSZYS8YsNNKa9zHw-KhjiuHCIFQbSl6zW1OJEf8ooeoz9w5__B_cymhhz9VKkgu_8lBtESEN9hOOkDRqJlw/s320/magnussen.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
If he is a blackmailer, what exactly is he watching for so intently in the final clip from "The Empty Hearse"? Who is he attempting to extort with that video? Surely not John, he's got to be the pawn. But who is the message for? There's got to be something I'm missing here, but what? Is he connected to Mary (blue-eyed, poor eyesight)? Does this mean we need to consider the Holmes brothers more carefully?<br />
<br />
4. I keep thinking back to the tonal shift. In particular, the humanizing moments we see between Sherlock and Mycroft. Like the Goth girl scene, the Operation Game made me feel all warm and fuzzy and loved. Which immediately makes me suspicious. Are they giving us this information/insight now to use it against later? To manipulate us? Mycroft would be an excellent target for a new criminal mastermind, particularly a blackmailer. What am I missing in all this soft talk about Mycroft's isolation and lonely heart?<br />
<br />
So, those are my new thoughts. More thoughts. Too many thoughts. Loved all the Guy Fawkes bits. Want to make an effigy that looks like this one for next year:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4-HfPZM_sof_ELHfj5khm5YjFx02kqaeyvIJZ4FrW9fERXEPwpppu5J2jPr9EChmcNPj7pREdaGZ9TS-RhQVjcwsZo00K7cTmspjnAIuWTJpFXMQH7If9KyffjyqGZVsWU5crMxbk7bc/s1600/fakesherlockhead.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4-HfPZM_sof_ELHfj5khm5YjFx02kqaeyvIJZ4FrW9fERXEPwpppu5J2jPr9EChmcNPj7pREdaGZ9TS-RhQVjcwsZo00K7cTmspjnAIuWTJpFXMQH7If9KyffjyqGZVsWU5crMxbk7bc/s320/fakesherlockhead.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Thanks to my sister for all the obsessive screencaps.<br />
<br />
More to follow.the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-1824515279458978602014-01-02T05:21:00.001-08:002014-01-03T06:23:56.798-08:00Sherlock: The Empty Hearse (Season 3, Episode 1) - More Thoughts and SpoilersSo, first, a correction. Turns out, like Sherlock, I'm fallible.<br />
<br />
Anderson's group is called "The Empty Hearse." This is embarrassing and I'm sure I did catch it the first time around but I assumed the real empty hearse of the story was, of course, a pun on Sherlock's empty grave (or sort of empty grave) and the empty car holding all those explosives under Parliament.<br />
<br />
My bad.<br />
<br />
To make amends:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE_qcoUPYorfR0LweO5xPj0WBMNApEzCnjTbi9y_WjPyx3sTugv0cAS-XE666rTEqkdVD4U_C6LclCQIhcVctVmdJg7qrozwkOUrFX0tGKoRhsME_71cfKhnIk6e6h4dmWE3ajiEK_om4/s1600/mollock.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE_qcoUPYorfR0LweO5xPj0WBMNApEzCnjTbi9y_WjPyx3sTugv0cAS-XE666rTEqkdVD4U_C6LclCQIhcVctVmdJg7qrozwkOUrFX0tGKoRhsME_71cfKhnIk6e6h4dmWE3ajiEK_om4/s320/mollock.png" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
Don't say I never gave you anything.<br />
<br />
In all fairness, for the real fans, it's the few seconds immediately preceding the kiss which are the most epic - when Sherlock runs his hands through his hair. You're going to want to check out the GIF on the BBC One Tumblr. Christmas came late this year.<br />
<br />
So, back to the story. There were a couple of moments I've been thinking about since I wrote my initial reaction.<br />
<br />
First, the Holmes bros. It seems the Cold War is thawing between the two boys - so much so that they even engage in a battle of the wits (they play Operation. it is just as awesome as you're now imagining). We even get to see a little deductive reasoning on Mycroft's part, which also allows Sherlock the opportunity to pay him back for the "how would you know" line in "Scandal in Belgravia."<br />
<br />
Turns out, our little Mycroft is lonely. Awwww.<br />
<br />
Don't go and give him a soul now, Gatiss and Moffat. We like our Holmes boys just a little bit more detached than the average human.<br />
<br />
We also get to meet Sherlock and Mycroft's parents - played, quite rightly, by Benedict Cumberbatch's real parents. It was sweet to see the whole family together - a bizarre little Christmas card for true fans - and I think it was sporting of the creators to try guess what Sherlock's parents would actually be like. They're so...normal! And sweet! Except, you know, like Benedict Cumberbatch, they sort of reek of old money, even if there isn't any. When Mycroft has to go with them to see "Les Miz," we all would have paid money to see a scene of that.<br />
<br />
But you knew that their parents would have to be loving, if nothing else. Look how coddled Sherlock is! He is, essentially, a petulant child with the brain of a genius and the cheekbones of a gangly, foppish Armani model. For tweaked hyper-geniuses, the Holmes boys certainly are well-adjusted.<br />
<br />
After all, they didn't turn into Moriarty.<br />
<br />
Too soon?<br />
<br />
And, of course, I think we need to consider the possibility that Sherlock lies to Anderson about Project Lazarus. He did say there were 13 possibilities once he reached the rooftop of St. Bart's. If he was really going to use Mycroft the entire time, wasn't there really only one possibility once he was on the roof? Come on, now. Of course, with his ego, he was probably banking on being able to talk Moriarty out of killing him entirely.<br />
<br />
And, after giggling with child-like glee, kissing. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO.<br />
in fan-fiction.<br />
<br />
But the thing I really want to talk about is the Lestrade hug.<br />
<br />
Just kidding, but damn do I hope the slashers are going fucking nuts with that today.<br />
<br />
No, this is what I want to talk about:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqCV_5UIsrCQgxNpzR1Rp8dUDj7WCS7llFiI8VLlV1ZOCnT4MqXHw4bRwyyzFACD3ipQYhatHWdvLhKERmBTIzReO3ApeTNVMTEKV2QI2-Gjd0Kqm0JREkULJou8KD9i7n1atVpdpGjmI/s1600/mary2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqCV_5UIsrCQgxNpzR1Rp8dUDj7WCS7llFiI8VLlV1ZOCnT4MqXHw4bRwyyzFACD3ipQYhatHWdvLhKERmBTIzReO3ApeTNVMTEKV2QI2-Gjd0Kqm0JREkULJou8KD9i7n1atVpdpGjmI/s320/mary2.png" width="213" /></a></div>
This took forever to find a screencap of but it's important to me because I knew that we would have to contend with the Mary factor.<br />
<br />
Was she too good to be true? Let's look at some of Sherlock's deductions about her: cat lover, bakes own bread, part-time nurse, only child, disillusioned, size 12, lib//dem, secret, tattoo, guardian, shortsighted, and, of course, liar.<br />
<br />
In fact, liar shows up a lot (not in this particular pic but in others I've seen). Now, to some degree, we are all liars (I lie all the time, about wanting to read Fancy Nancy books or about wanting to watch Caillou) so we shouldn't all immediately jump on the "Mary is evil" bandwagon. But since she's a liar AND she has a secret, I think we need to maybe brace ourselves for the possibility that...<br />
<br />
...maybe Mary is evil.<br />
<br />
Blue eyes and shortsighted? Could she somehow be connected to the blue-eyed, glasses-wearing big bad we caught our first glimpse of last night? Or is she lying about wanting to help reconcile John and Sherlock? What are her motives here? Is she as good as she seems or will she break up the band?<br />
<br />
I hope not. I hope that she is merely human and loving, if not slightly damaged by the vulnerabilities of life, as are we all.<br />
<br />
But, let's face it, this is Moffat and Gatiss we're talking about here.<br />
<br />
Bitch is probably evil.<br />
<br />
<br />the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-11136815572321565252014-01-01T17:15:00.001-08:002014-01-02T05:40:25.888-08:00Sherlock: The Empty Hearse (Season Three, Episode One)Look, my fellow Americans, I watched this through some sort of voodoo on my computer (it involved convincing my computer that we live in England. Don't ask). If you don't want spoilers, DON'T READ THIS POST.<br />
<br />
Glad we got that covered.<br />
<br />
I think tonight's episode was a touching nod to the fans.<br />
<br />
By which I mean, Moffat and Gatiss clearly trolled the internet to find the most amazing of the crazy theories and just ran with it. I love that Anderson has essentially turned into the Mad Hatter (Hatter being what I will lovingly call a "Sherlock conspiracy theorist"). His introductory scheme was, perhaps, the most entertaining few moments of television I have had all week. It is only surpassed by Scottish Goth Girl's version of what exactly happened on that roof.<br />
<br />
Andrew Scott and Benedict Cumberbatch deserve Emmys for that scene. Seriously.<br />
<br />
But I digress, if you want to know how it plays out, here you go:<br />
<br />
Sherlock is in it with Molly and Mycroft (obviously). His reaction to Moriarty's death is genuine - he should have seen it coming, but did not. He knew he needed to make his death convincing but he also needed to, you know, live. He texts Mycroft letting him know the plan is on, his homeless network and Mycroft's men keep everyone at bay and close off access to the street (like a movie lot), they set up a blue stunt/fall pad, meanwhile the body of the kidnapper is tossed on the ground in order for John to see a Sherlock-esque body lying there. All the equipment gets packed up quickly, Sherlock trades places with the dead body, which gets quickly carted out of sight, he gets surrounded, the squash ball gets put into play, and he is window-dressed to look dead all by the time John gets back on his feet and to him.<br />
<br />
Ta da!<br />
<br />
Were you all right???<br />
<br />
I was close. I knew Mycroft and Molly had to be involved. I guessed my hubs was right about the squash ball (although they never explain what the thing in Sherlock's hand was). I did not see the tarpyfallpad thing but did guess that they put a Sherlock-alike dead body on the ground to switch places with.<br />
<br />
Like Anderson, I felt like they're would be more.<br />
<br />
Anderson's theory was far more elaborate - masks get used, Moriarty's body gets used, Sherlock and Molly kiss, it's FANTASTIC. But Anderson is like a deranged version of his idiotic former self. He seems to have had some sort of manic break here. I don't know what to do with that.<br />
<br />
He heads up a small group of Baker Street Irregulars (not the homeless network, more like a group of believers who are not, to my knowledge, called the Irregulars. But there was a lot of buffering going on).<br />
The Goth Girl's version should be the stuff of every Sherlock fangirl;s dreams.<br />
<br />
Want a taste?<br />
<br />
<img alt="Displaying photo.PNG" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=5772c6ff37&view=fimg&th=14350aa20127ee13&attid=0.1&disp=inline&safe=1&attbid=ANGjdJ8bLjlkkOLSQ7YAWccr1pUcGF_ZpvaRX9Ul5P6wCnPYA97CNQuLvOacI0eotPT2OZn1TlBQJPkAqNMVZukCX5gimXfJjjY4lIS_8fVC376G_lNTWffZ6mii1HA&ats=1388627766388&rm=14350aa20127ee13&zw&sz=w1254-h511" /><br />
<br />
The rest of the stuff here is pretty basic mystery solving. Sherlock comes home, rescued by Mycroft (sort of), cleaned up, and returned to the wild of London. John briefly dabbles with an aging mustache (it doesn't last), and we get introduced to Mary, who, I gotta say, I LOVE.<br />
<br />
I was really worried about her, because she usually gets played like Yoko Ono and so far there's not a hint of that being the direction here. THANK GOD. I don't want a woman who will break up John and Paul. I want a woman who will sing with the band.<br />
<br />
Molly Hooper is also in fine form. Not only does she get to kiss Sherlock this episode (albeit, once in a fantasy sequence), she is also engaged. Before you get too excited and start thinking she's moved on, fear not, she is the same old Molly. Her fiance looks like Matt Smith playing Benedict Cumberbatch playing Sherlock.<br />
<br />
It's amazing.<br />
<br />
Verdict is out on whether she dresses him for the part or he is THAT into Sherlock. I hope time will tell.<br />
<br />
Of course, we also get introduced to this season's big bad. We know he has blue eyes and wears glasses. He also has white hair and a penchant for watching black and white film. Particularly film of Sherlock saving Watson from a fiery death.<br />
<br />
Creepy.<br />
<br />
Honestly, I was a little disappointed in the big reveal. I think the writers knew that would be the case, though, and that's partly why they gave us such epic variations from the peanut gallery. Of course there will be holes in the plan. And we still don't have a particularly good idea why Sherlock didn't include John (aside from John's need to blog about everything, thus, possibly ruining the big secret), since, you know, everyone else seemed to have an idea.<br />
<br />
Although, can I just say, one of my favorite scenes this week was when Lestrade hugs Sherlock. Seriously. I squee-ed a little.<br />
<br />
Looking forward to next week already.<br />
<br />
Laterz.the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-55738112500033112992014-01-01T13:10:00.001-08:002014-01-01T13:10:15.891-08:00Sherlock Rewatch - Reichenbach Fall (Series Two Finale) - Part TwoDid you miss me???<br />
<br />
Of course not. Only my sister is reading these.<br />
<br />
It's just a magic trick. I think we all can agree on that.<br />
<br />
Sherlock positions John exactly where he wants him - there's a building and a lorry in his way. The cyclist also deliberately knocks John down and discombobulates him. No drugs needed - just a little shock and a minor head injury.<br />
<br />
Sherlock preps John for what we will see: "keep your eyes fixed on me" (which, of course, John doesn't because Sherlock designs it so he can't. But that's the point. John will feel as if he had). He needs John to serve as some kind of witness, but not the one John has prepped in his mind.<br />
<br />
Sherlock also throws down his phone. I found this particularly interesting considering his sentimentality surrounding phones (he keeps Irene Adler's and the pink phone from The Great Game is among the possessions of Sherlock's Lestrade returns to Watson in the minisode). Sherlock doesn't want to risk the phone getting squished. Why? Whatever message he left on it has to be preserved for someone. He can't take any chances and tosses it aside.<br />
<br />
The ball theory loses a bit of traction for me when Sherlock spreads his arm and flies off the roof. The way that works is if he sandwiches the ball in his armpit to cut off circulation. Certainly, flapping your arms around would a. dislodge the ball and b. get that circulation pumping. If Sherlock wants the ball for after he lands, perhaps he moves it somewhere advantageous for when he's on the ground. But that, too, seems overly complicated. Rubber balls bounce. They can fall out of pockets. There's definitely something in his hand on the rooftop, something that will help him with his plan, but the likelihood of it being a ball is slim when you think that out. Sherlock likes plans that are elegant. Everything hinging on a rubber ball isn't anything but.<br />
<br />
I keep looking at this <a href="http://sc.aithine.org/sherlock/203/25/sherlock-203-24380.jpg">picture</a>.<br />
<br />
Sherlock seems to be wearing a white undershirt of some kind (we know he's got a purple shirt on) and there's also a string or a band or something in his coat. I'm guessing these things are part of the actual shoot (the harness and the cord) and not part of the solution, but there you go anyways. We also know from Dan Brown that one square yard of fabric can slow a fall down 20%. How many yards do you wager Sherlock's coat is?<br />
<br />
There won't be any jetpacks and I doubt Sherlock managed to convince someone else to jump for him. It would not shock me if the body is already waiting on the ground once Sherlock jumps, but it's tough to deny that's the real Benedict Cumberbatch dead-eyeing us as Sherlock when John checks his pulse.<br />
<br />
I think what we basically have to acknowledge is that Sherlock jumps. He is able to slow his fall down and his homeless network takes care of the rest (there's a girl crying who looks vaguely like Wiggins as John approaches). There's a bald man who also looks pretty familiar - a face you'd lose in the crowd if you weren't paying attention.<br />
<br />
There are also some huge loose ends. Why is the jury forewoman also in the first press conference from A Study in Pink? Why do her children look very similar to cabbie Jeff Hope's kids? How will they bring back Sherlock, considering he probably still is wanted for resisting arrest? And where has Sherlock been hiding? Besides Germany.<br />
<br />
Fucking Germany.<br />
<br />
What did all the fairy tale references mean? And IOU? anything? Nothing?<br />
<br />
Personally, I'm looking forward to seeing the answers. I know Mycroft was in on the joke already (he figured out Rich Brook way in advance of Sherlock's telling us the joke's punchline on the roof). With Mycroft and Molly, anything is possible for Sherlock.<br />
<br />
Catch U later.the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-14715290420491480352014-01-01T12:05:00.000-08:002014-01-01T12:05:30.088-08:00Sherlock Rewatch: The Reichenbach Fall (Series 2 Finale) - Part OneAnd, here we are, at last.<br />
<br />
The final problem. Our problem.<br />
<br />
How does Sherlock do it?<br />
<br />
One of my all-time favorite scenes in the series is when Jim breaks into the Tower of London, followed directly by the scene where Moriarty and Sherlock have tea. Hands down, top two scenes in the series for me.<br />
<br />
I'm pretty sure I could act this episode out in my sleep.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://blogs.independent.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Sherlock-31.jpg" /><br />
<br />
The big theme here is fairy tales, but I'm pretty sure that's all smoke and mirrors. Moriarty explains to Sherlock that every fairy tales needs a good, old-fashioned villain. And, naturally, he's the best man for the job. He also explains to Sherlock that they're the same; he is Sherlock and vice versa. That means, at any given point, he can be the hero and Sherlock can be the villain. That is, essentially, exactly what happens here. The breadcrumbs, the gingerbread man, the book of Grimm tales, etc. - these all reinforce Jim's "storyteller" motif. He is playing the puppet master here, and the strings he is pulling are Sherlock's.<br />
<br />
Or so he thinks.<br />
<br />
If there's anything we know about Sherlock, it's that he's steps ahead of everyone (Except maybe Mycroft, and a little fuzzier when he's bored). But he's been expecting Moriarty for some time now. He expects him in A Study in Pink, even before he has a name. How much puppet mastery Moriarty is doing versus how much Sherlock has put in place in order for him to pull strings is debatable.<br />
<br />
Particularly considering Sherlock's condemnation of Moriarty as a "spider at the center of a web". If Moriarty has a web, so, too, does Sherlock. And I'd argue that Sherlock is pulling them a lot sooner than Moriarty gives him credit for.<br />
<br />
Moriarty's final problem centers around Bach. When he enters Sherlock's apartment (and is greeted by a fresh-made pot of tea, served to him, uncharacteristically by Sherlock who never serves anyone), he criticizes Sherlock's abrupt cessation of violin playing and begins a tale of a dying, old Bach, leaping out of his bed to play his unfinished melody on the piano. This is a made up story, from what I can gather. The writers spin this legend here for a reason, as Moriarty's "key code" is also from Bach. Add to the fact that he assumes the anglicized version of the name Reichen Bach, and I do believe we've got here a pattern of three that's hard to ignore.<br />
<br />
After Moriarty tells the Bach story, Sherlock asks him how Moriarty intends to "burn him" - to which Moriarty replies, that's the final problem. "I've already told you, but did you listen?" We all listened to his "Stayin' Alive" ringtone at the beginning of the "Scandal in Belgravia" and he reiterates that one the roof that "staying alive" is "the final problem." But there's got to be more there, particularly since it's sandwiched between the two Bach incidents. And once more I'm struggling to figure out what a dying man's need to finish the melody has to do with Sherlock jumping off a building.<br />
<br />
If Moriarty assumes the Bach role (and we assume that because he literally does take Bach's name), he is the dying man (and die he does, on the rooftop). Sherlock is co-opting his melody, playing him poorly, and stopping before it's finished (Sherlock does this earlier when he stops playing the violin before the song is done). So, what exactly is Moriarty's song? It's staying alive.<br />
<br />
But, if that were the case, a dying Jim would leap up and finish the song for Sherlock once he'd stopped playing, right?<br />
<br />
I've thought about this so long my head hurts.<br />
<br />
We also know Sherlock has a far better understanding of what's going to happen then he lets on. He knows Moriarty's strength isn't in technology but in manipulation. Moriarty's weakness is that he loves playing with people's pressure points; Sherlock anticipates this. He knows that Moriarty will target anyone Sherlock seems to care about on more than a perfunctory level. This is why he treats Molly the way that he does. He has to give her enough to stay involved in his life but must mistreat her in order for Jim to not see her as anything more significant than a schoolgirl crush. He checks this theory on the roof when he gives Moriarty three names - John, Hudson, Lestrade - to ensure that Molly will go unnoticed, as she has too often by everyone else on the series. Her ability to hang in the periphery is exceptional and those are strings that Sherlock manipulates, not Moriarty.<br />
<br />
None of that is particularly new, however.<br />
<br />
Let's see if we can't decipher the missing clue as a break, shall we?<br />
<br />
There are several strange Sherlock moments here.<br />
<br />
1. His interaction with Kitty - this actually reminds me a lot of the scene with Irene Adler, he even gets very close to Kitty as if to check to see her pulse or pupil dilation or whathaveyou. Never before is Sherlock so condemnatory of the press. This is probably a deliberate move on Sherlock's part to help turn the press against him; what better way to get them to hate him then to pick a young, hungry journalist and practically hand her a reason to find his dirty secrets.<br />
<br />
2. Sherlock makes tea and gets dressed for Moriarty. I think this is incredibly telling. Sherlock wouldn't even get dressed for the Queen, even though he knew exactly where he was going that day. The Queen (via Mycroft and Harry) also served him tea. What message then does Sherlock send Moriarty when he not only gets fully dressed but also serves him tea for his visit? The fact that he practically serenades him with violin music is just an added bonus.<br />
<br />
3. Sherlock's apology to John on the roof - Sherlock made a big deal of not apologizing to Mrs. Hudson after hurting her feelings in "Hounds of Baskerville." It's not really in his nature, although he does do it on occasion (see: Molly at Christmas). The question then becomes "What is this apology really all about?".<br />
<br />
4. Sherlock sitting with his feet up - Sherlock moves a lot. Even when it appears he isn't moving. And his thinking pose either involves his violin or holding his hands in a pyramid pose. He generally also moves his fingers (as he does when he plays with the squash ball, mirroring Moriarty's code tick). But the scene when John receives the call about Mrs. Hudson, Sherlock is sitting almost perfectly still with his feet up. Why is he elevating his feet here? There's something about his pose and the calmness of his demeanor that is very "not" Sherlock there.<br />
<br />
5. Sherlock singing - I've watched all six episodes so much that I can quote them by heart now. I cannot remember one other instance of Sherlock singing. I also think it's strange that he jumps up and clicks his feet together, but that's more typical of his spry and giddy glee when he's excited. Like an acrobatic little puppy.<br />
<br />
6. Leaving a "note" - The writers love a pun. I say that all the time and I think it's universally acknowledged to be true. In his final call to John, he tells him, using Moriarty's words, "that's what people do", that he is leaving John "a note." A note can refer to anything - a suicide note, a doctor's note, a music note, a bank note, or even an intonation. In that regards, Sherlock certainly is leaving a note of sadness, of apology, and of despair. Still, I feel like there is more to this phone call than people generally acknowledge. First, it's weird that it's an apology. It's also weird that it's a lie - that he's telling John to continue Moriarty's lie about him, even though John already knows it's untrue (because he lived it and because he spoke with Mycroft). There has to be something more going on there.<br />
<br />
7. Sherlock's humanity - crying on the roof is misdirection. Think back to Ian Monkford and Sherlock's quick tears there. Don't mistake this for an out-of-character act. Sherlock is selling his lie here. Hard. He also has grown to like having John around. It isn't easy to do what he's doing but that doesn't mean that he's going soft. Remember, Sherlock is Jim and both men are actors. They can cry, if that's what the scene requires.<br />
<br />
8. Sherlock's hands. Much is made of his hands in the rooftop scene, and for some good reason. At the beginning of the exchange, Sherlock has his hands clasped behind his back, the gesture is slightly open, as if to say, "nothing in here to see!". When he gives Moriarty back the code, he has the hands on top closed tight, again, as if to prove there is nothing inside his hands. After he deliberately angers Moriarty by pretending a key code exists, Moriarty calls him a doofus and flamboyantly shuffles around pretending to be ordinary Sherlock. Before this happens, however, we get a brief glimpse at Sherlock's hands again. We know that Sherlock is adept at sleight of hand (thanks, stolen ashtray and id card). When we see him again, his hands look like <a href="http://sc.aithine.org/sherlock/203/22/sherlock-203-21216.jpg">this</a>. There is clearly something in there, probably the squash ball, because, let's face it, he has never played with one of those prior to this episode. The object looks blackish and squishy (technical terms) but the image isn't very clear; I suppose it could be a recorder or a phone, but he really wouldn't need one of those to be hanging out here. By playing stupid, Sherlock essentially cons Moriarty into letting his guard down. Moriarty takes his eyes off him and Sherlock places the object wherever he needs to do so in order or the next phase of his plan to take place. Whatever the object is, we know for certain it's out of his hands by the time Moriarty's done calling him names.<br />
<br />
9. Sherlock's phone - it's weird enough that he calls. It's weird to me that they don't show him taking the phone out and calling John, focusing rather on his feet. We know where he put his phone prior to the encounter on the roof and maybe they're just going for drama, or maybe they're obscuring something we might not want to see until later.<br />
<br />
I just checked the time. Right now, someone in England is getting the answer and I'm not. Sadness.<br />
<br />
I'm posting this now but will be back in a few with more<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-90184842347569702742014-01-01T09:48:00.001-08:002014-01-01T09:48:21.377-08:00Sherlock Rewatch: The Hounds of Baskerville (Season Two, Episode Two)What's up with the middle installments being the weakest of each season?<br />
<br />
<img src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" /><br />
<br />
I actually like this one much better than "The Blind Banker", to be fair. I think my problem is that it seems so disconnected from the Moriarty plotline. It makes me think there's got to be something else going on here, aside from hallucinogenic drugs and giant beasties traipsing all over the moors of England.<br />
<br />
It does give us this <a href="http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/sherlock/images/28105584/title/hounds-baskerville-photo">photo:</a><br />
<br />
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT2wQ-MrT118-7AaYdGpAg_uuTqpDmf9CpVUWaqPmU7SHSoJTvj" /><br />
<br />
which is foreshadowing at its finest.<br />
<br />
This one gives us a flashback by way of intro - clearly a strong connection to the main narrative thread and introducing us to the concept of the Hound through the childhood eyes of terror.<br />
<br />
While it's not my favorite episode, here are some things of note:<br />
<br />
1. Sherlock's refusal to apologize to Mrs. Hudson. He refuses to, after revealing Mrs. Hudson's unintentional affair with the philandering shopkeeper. She leaves upset and Sherlock refuses to apologize to her, criticizing, or perhaps, envying John's mind for assuming it could be so simple. And yet we see him apologize to Molly, just an episode earlier, for cruelly lashing out about her crush on him. And, the more I think about that scene, the more I'm sure Sherlock knows exactly what he's doing. There's no way a man like Sherlock could not predict or simply read the tag off the gift and know its recipient. He's not jealous of Molly's beau, so what's really going on there?<br />
<br />
2. Shaking fingers - "I know the signs". Henry is looking for his first cigarette of the day and Sherlock makes much of his shaking fingers, commenting he recognizes the sign of nicotine withdrawal. Have you ever watched Sherlock's body language? Like really watched it? In Scandal in Belgravia, you can see him shaking his feet/leg repeatedly under his sheet. His finger tick rapidly, particularly when thinking. Very rarely does he stay completely still. In Reichenbach Falls, he sits, feet up, quite relaxed. When else does he ever sit with his feet up? Or completely still? That's certainly not his thinking pose. Does this mean he's drugged at the end? Not in the sense of the hallucinogenic stuff from HOUND; that's got red herring written all over it. Just that there's something else going on with his body language at the end of season finale and we get a clue to it here.<br />
<br />
3. I'm a show-off; that's what we do. - I love this line, but I also wonder if it's there for ulterior motives as well. It would be out-of-character for Sherlock not to show-off (i.e. perhaps by asking Molly humbly for help or admitting that he needs her). I'd say look for scenes where Sherlock doesn't show off or can't show off in the finale. Just a thought.<br />
<br />
4. Skull and Cross Bones - Another pirate reference (the first one is in Scandal in Belgravia when Mycroft says that his brother has the mind of a philosopher or scientist and yet spends his time acting as a detective. He also comments that initially Sherlock wanted to be a pirate. Do with that what you will.<br />
<br />
5. John's blog. I write a blog. Several of them. On average, I get maybe 30 hits a day, more if I write something about Blue Lagoon: The Awakening (that shit is blog GOLD). I have nowhere near the readership of John's blog. Neither does Sherlock. And, yes, John has mysteries and fiction working on his side, but everyone whose anyone in this series seems well-acquainted with John's blog. It's amazing he hasn't monetized it; they could live entirely off that. Here, Dr. Frankland is the avid reader/fan. I feel like John's blog must be getting some outside help in order to be as successful as it seems to be.<br />
<br />
6. Much is made of Sherlock's pickpocketing in the first two episodes of this season. First, he nicks the ashtray from the palace and now he's conveniently stolen Mycroft's ID to sneak into Baskerville (which seems unnecessary since Mycroft later gets him 24-hour-access).<br />
<br />
7. With your cheekbones and turning up your coat collar to look cool. - I just love this line, but it also speaks to Sherlock's perception of himself and his ego. He knows people are looking at him, watching him, judging him. He wants to project "mysterious" and "cool". It doesn't take a genius to see that.<br />
<br />
8. I haven't got friends. I've just got one. - Not true. He has Mrs. Hudson. Lestrade. and John. And Molly. And, in some fucked up way, Moriarty. Definitely not true. But it makes me think of the title change. In the original, it's the Hound of the Baskervilles. Here, it's the HoundS of Baskerville. A nod to the name change more than a moment of truth?<br />
<br />
9. Sherlock's "fear" - We get a more emotional side to Sherlock here, with his fear and doubt unsettling him (hand-shaking!). This is either the most human Sherlock has ever been OR this is a set up, a long-con, on Sherlock's part. Making Watson witness his humanity to believe the end he has in store or Reichenbach.<br />
<br />
10. Sherlock's mistake - Sherlock assumed the poison was in the sugar, not the in the fog. Making mistakes is distinctly in character for Sherlock, thus his "code" snafu at the end of the season finale isn't particularly out-of-character. Even John says Sherlock is "human" in his blog. I'm not sold entirely on that concept, actually, but it's something to note if you think the out-of-character move is that Sherlock was fallible. Sherlock does say in A Study in Pink that there is always some detail he gets wrong; he's excellent with the big picture, but little things often elude him.<br />
<br />
11. Frankland's overly-helpfulness/giving Sherlock his number - it's an old British murder mystery standard that if someone is overly helpful they're probably involved in the murder. Moriarty gives Sherlock his number in The Great Game. Irene practically programs herself into Sherlock's phone. Here, Frankland gives his number. Kitty Riley slips her card to Sherlock in The Reichenbach Fall. Let's just ponder that for a moment, shall we?<br />
<br />
12. John's blog entry regarding the episode points out that Sherlock makes Henry look at the body of the dog so that he understands what is real and what is not. I think that is exactly why it is so important that he places John where he does in the Reichenbach fall. John can't see the bloody conclusion, but he must be able to see the body in order to fully believe the lie of Sherlock's death. It's an interesting spin here.<br />
<br />
13. Acronyms. HOUND here is a pretty basic acronym of the last name of the drug's founders. This ties into my IOU feeling (that's it something more significant). And the writers love using things from previous episodes to help do that. Liberty, IN also ties into this (IOU could be an abbreviation, of sorts).<br />
<br />
See you after the next one.<br />
<br />
<br />the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-5555995390210558892014-01-01T07:57:00.001-08:002014-01-01T07:57:26.556-08:00Sherlock Rewatch: Scandal in Belgravia (Season Two, Episode One)Sorry, guys, I'm SOOOOOOOO changeable.<br />
<br />
<img src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" /><br />
<br />
Not really. I just love Jim.<br />
<br />
So, "Scandal in Belgravia" is hands-down one of my all-time favorite episodes of any television show anywhere. It's just so brilliant. And I'll explain why.<br />
<br />
First, if you don't appreciate good cinematic juxtaposition, shame on you. The clever way in which Sherlock and Irene Adler mirror one another here is just such a lovely touch on the director's part. She looks at images of a sheet-clad Sherlock as he flips through surveillance photographs of her/her website. When they get ready for their meeting, he adds a "touch of color" by having John punch his face; she asks for "blood" red lipstick to be applied. Both have doting (to the point of sexuality questioning) sidekicks - John and Kate - who assist them in their preparations. They've both got flamboyant taste in wallpaper and a penchant for recreational drugs.<br />
<br />
They're totes meant for one another.<br />
<br />
Obviously, this one has to start with the resolution to last season's cliffhanger. It's not even a question. But I think that, too, is clever as it introduces us to the link between Moriarty and Irene Adler as well as reminds the reader that Moriarty may be off screen but he is certainly not gone.<br />
<br />
We are also very early reminded of the oft-repeated line: you see but you do not observe.<br />
Clearly, we are all missing something.<br />
<br />
Personally, I'm struck by one of Mycroft's lines here. He mentions that "We are in Buckingham Palace; the very HEART of the British nation. Sherlock Holmes, put your trousers on!"<br />
<br />
And, of course, since I've watched each episode now about 23 times, I'm reminded of Jim's lines about "burning the very HEART" out of Sherlock. This is just helping my sister's theory, but what if that's the goal here? Turning Sherlock against England/preventing the consulting detective from using his powers for good? Moriarty, after all, would have no use for a genius detective who plays "on the side of the angels".<br />
<br />
This episode also reiterates that often times the writers rely on previous tactics. Sherlock uses the "if a mom hears an alarm" trick to figure out where Irene Adler is keeping her cellphone. This is eerily similar to the first episode in the series when he gets Jeff Hope to talk about his children and his impending death. As he does, Sherlock notes on which bottle his eyes fall; Sherlock is able to choose a bottle based on this unintentional revelation.<br />
<br />
Most of this episode is the back-and-forth between Irene and Sherlock. It's the stuff psychotic love affairs are made of. I'm not going to get too much into that, as I'm really just trying to stick to observations that will assist in bettering my understanding of the events of "The Reichenbach Fall."<br />
<br />
Observations:<br />
<br />
1. Faking a death - Sherlock has done it before and can do it well enough to 'fool' Mycroft. Whatever his motives are - fucked up love feelings or bigger picture criminal web takedown - we need to believe that Sherlock is capable of fooling the British government into thinking anyone is dead. For obvious reasons. I should note that he does it with and without Molly's help. She isn't necessary, although she can be an asset if need be.<br />
<br />
2. Stayin' Alive - This series is so interesting because it foils both Adler and Sherlock and Moriarty and Sherlock. Perhaps to suggest they are both his equals in different capacities, but there must be something deeper going on here. Moriarty's ring tone, however, is one of those genius little nods here - Holmes plays Bach as his thinking music. It thus makes perfect sense that his arch-nemesis and brilliant yang counterpart would list to the BeeGees off his cell phone. Is that the final problem? How do you stay alive when you're a Sherlock Holmes or a Moriarty, surrounded by the ordinary, and bored, quite literally, out of your wits?<br />
<br />
3. Germany! - It's back and bigger than ever! The Dusseldorf case, for example. My preoccupation with Germany can continue!<br />
<br />
4. I think we need to consider Sherlock's boneheaded play when "cracking" the code from the Ministry of Defence official for Irene. The simple, therefore most likely right way, to read this is, of course, an extension of what Mycroft says: a man whose never romantically met his equal before showboats a little, to impress her. I don't know if I buy. Yes, Sherlock is able to figure out Adler's "SHER"-locked key code and save the day, temporarily, but once more, he seems to make life pretty easy for mischief-making Jim M. This is similar to what happens on the rooftop in The Reichenbach Fall when Sherlock seemingly gives Moriarty the wrong solution and has to scramble to "save" face. If my sister's theory is correct, Sherlock must be willing to sacrifice his ties/loyalty to England, at least superficially, in order to infiltrate Moriarty's web. Giving away crucial information about the MoD would probably be one way to demonstrate new loyalty. Or at least a moral flexibility that would be appealing to Moriarty's crew. Of course, if we were going to look at this another way (because, you know, WHY NOT), it's, as I say, a pretty fucking boneheaded thing to do, even for a hot chick (clearly, Sherlock isn't familiar with the old "Don't be dumb; keep mum!" posters from WWII). If I were a powerful criminal mastermind, I'd probably not what someone who accidentally gives away top secret information to someone in a bathrobe.<br />
<br />
Hole Poking in Own Theory: Mycroft's reaction to news his plan has been foiled seems pretty genuine. If he's in cahoots with Sherlock, there's no need for him to react this way. Unless we assume he's under surveillance too, which, considering Moriarty infiltrates Scotland Yard isn't unheard of.<br />
<br />
5. "Looking takes ages; I'm just going to find them." I feel like this is a metaphor for what all the <i>Sherlock </i>fans are doing before the new season begins. A very extended metaphor.<br />
<br />
6. The cigarette - Much is made of Sherlock's addiction in this episode. Mycroft gives Sherlock ONE cigarette, after Irene's first faked death, and warns John that tonight requires his constant vigilance in keeping Sherlock from slipping back into bad habits. In the next episode, Sherlock goes cold turkey, In The Reichenbach Fall, despite the highly stressful circumstances surrounding the plot, no major mention is made of Sherlock's addiction. Odd, no?<br />
<br />
7. The Yellow Smiley Face - This should be something in The Great Game rewatch, but I just noticed it now. Obviously, Sherlock does this in a fit of boredom (sprays the wall with the paint from The Blind Banker). Later, in Reichenbach Fall land, when Moriarty writes Sherlock's name, he turns the O into a smiley face. Very similar to the one decorating Sherlock's walls. If my theory about Sherlock's apartment being under close surveillance from much earlier in Season One is correct, it makes sense that Moriarty would inform all those assassins of the code's location, and, perhaps, provide a clue with the face on the wall as well.<br />
<br />
8. I keep thinking about the way Sherlock breaks down the hapless, overweight man whose car backfires in the beginning. This story is clever, but I like to think that it also shows us something about Sherlock and his ability to analyze a person's appearance rapidly. Then, look at what he does to Kitty Riley in The Reichenbach Fall. It's similar, but different. And we know Kitty is testing him and enjoying the exam process ("I'm liking you"). I'm wondering now if there is more than meets the eye to the strange appearance of Kitty Riley. Like she's inception-disguising - a journalist pretending to be a fan pretending to be a journalist. But is she more? We'll talk about her later, but keep that in mind. Especially since she goes the "fan" route and Jeff Hope tells Sherlock "you've got a fan" in the series's opener. Since the line "Disguise is always a self-portrait" gets repeated at the end here, we have to think about Kitty's fandom and the extent of it. She, like Jim, slips Sherlock her number. She also seems pretty keen to ruin him.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
9. The American Beatdown and How Do You Solve a Problem Like Molly Hooper - Sherlock takes the abuse of Mrs. Hudson very, very poorly here. I don't blame him; she's awesome. And Sherlock's feelings seem entirely genuine. I don't doubt he does have those feelings, but, if he knows he's being watched, making sure whoever is watching associates his affection with the right people (Lestrade, John, and Hudson). Look at how coldly he treats Molly Hooper at Christmas. If he knows he's being watched, while he affords the poor girl a moment of sweetness in reparation, he must keep her at a distance if he will be able to use her later on when he needs her. Likewise, he has to make sure the person watching knows his softspots and weaknesses. Hence, throwing out Mrs. Hudson's abuser repeatedly out the window.<br />
<br />
10. Trust. The word trust gets used a lot this season (Big Motif Warning!). So, do the words "ordinary" and "clever" and "bored". Moriarty tells Sherlock on the rooftop (Reichenbach) that Sherlock's big problem is that he always likes things to be so clever; and what is more clever this episode that cracking Irene's cute little "I am SHERlocked" password. As I've said before, the writers love a good pun. It's interesting here, too, in the sense of trust. Sherlock almost simultaneously<br />
<br />
11. "Give him a puzzle and watch him dance" - Mycroft says this line on the plane. This is the exact same thing that the blind lady dummies to Sherlock, reading from Moriarty. In fact, the word puzzle here is particularly suspect since Moriarty, in Reichenbach, refers to "riddles" and "problems" - definitely not puzzles. Considering we meet Mycroft and he introduces himself as Sherlock's arch-enemy I feel like something else must be going on here. Unless Mycroft is simply parroting Moriarty as he's already worked out the trajectory of their relationship as well. Mycroft also says that Moriarty seems "almost desperate for [Mycroft's] attention." Whatever Moriarty's actual game is, it extends beyond just Sherlock.<br />
<br />
12. Mycroft's reliance on Watson to do his emotional legwork. I find the Mycroft-John relationship fascinating. The strain between the Holmes's boys is fascinating, but the end of this episode always gets me. Why does Mycroft have John lie for him? And why tell John it's a lie? He must want Sherlock to know the truth (we've already seen that Sherlock can read John like a book in this episode; it follows logically he would know immediately when his "best friend" is lying to him). So, why go through the added step? Why not just tell Sherlock himself? Is it to help spare his feelings? To test John's loyalty to Sherlock? To give John access to information he might not otherwise be privy to? What's Mycroft's game here?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-12326441411674349432013-12-31T12:46:00.000-08:002013-12-31T12:46:44.186-08:00Sherlock Rewatch: The Great Game (Season One Cliffhanger Finale)Can we agree that Moffat and Gatiss LOVE a good pun? Can we at least all agree on that?<br />
<br />
Every good British schoolchild knows that the Great Game refers to British-Russian strategic battle over "the jewel in the crown" - basically Russian attempts to invade India.<br />
<br />
So, it's cleverly cute that this episode, also dubbed "The Great Game" begins with Sherlock in Russia (okay, fine, Minsk/Belarus, but close enough, yes?), fielding the dubious story of a man imprisoned there, quite correctly, for murder. Sherlock being Sherlock is more keen to push the client's buttons by repeatedly correcting his grammar until his anger erupts and the case is "solved."<br />
<br />
Anglo-Russian relations, indeed.<br />
<br />
Of course, if we extend the metaphor, because we like to do that here, we have to look at the deeper implications of "our little game" here. Obviously, Sherlock is England; he's so British it hurts. That's got to put Moriarty in the role of Russia, the invading force, threatening Sherlock's "jewels".<br />
<br />
Figuratively speaking, although, the fact that he uses John as one of his blow-up-dolls (see what I did there???) might make those jewels slightly more literal.<br />
<br />
The bigger question, of course, is whether or not this introductory episode means anything in terms of the larger thread of the narrative (aside from the extended Great Game metaphor, of course). I mean, yes, it's cute and funny (gallows humor, quite literally here), but the scene doesn't serve much of a purpose in the grand scheme of the narrative, unless it's meant to reiterate the "boredom" of Sherlock's existence (considering he doesn't leave the house for anything less than a 7 in later episodes, one needs to consider Sherlock's motives for traveling to Belarus for what really appears to be a fairly straightforward case). Barry Berwick isn't a particularly clever criminal; he seems to have no connection to the Moriarty storyline (there's no way this guy's murder of his wife would require a consulting criminal mastermind). So what's the deal?<br />
<br />
Barry's story is that he flirted with his waitress, much to the chagrin of his wife Karen, leading to a "ding dong" (domestic squabble) and his wife saying he wasn't a "real man". That's interesting. And connects to a larger and ever-growing motif of reality versus illusion in the text. I'd argue it's less the notion of emasculation that's of note here and more the idea that someone was imaginary or fictional that is key.<br />
<br />
Again, Moffat and Gatiss love a good pun.<br />
<br />
Of course, ding-dongs could reference doorbells which always seem to be dangerous at 221B, so let's also keep our eyes on that one as well, shall we?<br />
<br />
Let's put that on hold for a minute.<br />
<br />
And just remind ourselves of Sherlock's oft-repeated mantra, we see but we do not observe.<br />
<br />
Observations from the episode:<br />
<br />
1. Mycroft and Sherlock - there is definitely more than sibling rivalry going on with this relationship. Mycroft is generally acknowledged in the original to be smarter than his brother (as briefly referenced in his correction that Watson sleeps on Sarah's sofa). That he repeatedly requires his brother's "help" to solve crimes that require "leg work" is a bit ridiculous, yes? My sister thinks that Sherlock and Mycroft are actually working in cahoots from the beginning, attempting to help Sherlock infiltrate Moriarty's network of criminals. I think she's on to something here, as Mycroft seemingly requires his brother's help far more than a man with his intellect, assets, and pocketbook should. Mycroft uses Sherlock as a willing pawn in his game against Moriarty; there is no other explanation for the things that happen in Season Two. The scene where Mycroft repeatedly tries to "force" his brother into helping him is played for John's benefit (I also suspect they're already being watched by this point. Long before Sherlock discovers the camera in the end of Season Two). That later on Sherlock shows up to assist John only reinforces this; after all, it's not like we'd expect him to "give up on a case like this, just to spite [his] brother."<br />
<br />
In case you need more proof of that, consider Sherlock watching the telly and yelling about the paternity of a child: "check out the turn-ups on his jeans!" A silly off-handed remark, perhaps, or more distraction? When Sherlock heads to the pool and is face to face with John, John, parroting Moriarty, says, "this is a turn up, isn't it Sherlock?" The exact same phrase within moments of one another? More than a coincidence. The fact that Sherlock says it in his apartment only reinforces that his apartment is bugged long before "The Reichenbach Fall". And if it's bugged, everything that Sherlock says there must be said with the expectation he's being watched.<br />
<br />
2. Janus Cars: I've already hit on the dual nature of humanity motif they're rocking pretty hard here. But just in case you missed it, the writers really want to reiterate that people are not always what they seem. Sometimes, Chinese acrobats are really smugglers. Sometimes, a delivery cyclist is also a drug dealer. Sometimes, a gay IT guy is really a criminal mastermind. Pay attention to the dualities. Sherlock might not be the traditional master of disguise the same way that he is in the stories, but he certainly isn't showing all his cards yet.<br />
<br />
The other big problem with this "pip" is that Moriarty calls and gives Sherlock "a clue". The clue is in the name. Janus is the two-headed god; his face is used, most poetically, in the representation of tragedy and comedy - the ever-popular actor's masks. Rich Brook is an actor. So, too, in his own way, is Sherlock. What's the real clue here?<br />
<br />
3. "You're enjoying this"/"I like to watch [Sherlock] dance" - Sherlock never seems particularly dismayed. He even tells John not to try to turn him into the hero because he will be disappointed. He likes solving the riddles; he needs his work. Whether people live or die isn't entirely of importance to me as long as he solves the crime and gets the bad guy. The discussion Sherlock and John have here is an excellent precedence for the one Sherlock and Moriarty have at the end of "The Reichenbach Fall." It is also important that Moriarty sees Sherlock "enjoying" the "game" - if my sister's theory holds true. Mycroft also says almost the exact same turn of phrase later on to Sherlock in "Scandal in Belgravia" - yes, I get that Gatiss might just have written both episodes and likes the turn of phrase, but I like to think there's more going on here in terms of the surveillance happening at 221B and the inner machinations of the Holmes brothers.<br />
<br />
4. Carl Powers - So, little Carl was a bully, was he? Moriarty claims he was taunted by Carl and that Carl's death was, in fact, a revenge killing. But Sherlock says all the classmates "check out". There has to be something more here than Sherlock lets on or knows at this point. Particularly as Rich Brook, an "old schoolfriend of Sherlock's" is also the man responsible for Carl's death. Can we all just picture 9-year-old Jim Moriarty for a second? I'm curious as to why Sherlock has Watson make observations about the trainers; he says that "a second opinion" or "outside view" was very helpful to him. But it isn't; unless it helps him show-off.<br />
<br />
5. The "look of surprise" on Jim's face - this is the exact same face he makes when he shoots himself at the end of "Reichenbach Fall". Exact. Same. Face.<br />
<br />
6. "I will burn the very heart out of you" - We need to look at the final scene with Moriarty as a bigger clue as to what happens at the end of Reichenbach Fall. Sherlock, earlier in the episode, declares "I am on fire!" - so burning is clearly a strong motif. If Moriarty doesn't want to kill Sherlock YET, he just wants to "burn him" (even the small, cold, black heart Sherlock claims to possess), it sets up Sherlock's seeming fall from grace. Sherlock loves the limelight; not necessarily the posing in front of the camera but the recognition for his achievements. He's a serial killer in reverse - he wants name recognition and must be willing to lose that name if he wants to play with Moriarty.<br />
<br />
Later, in "Reichenbach Fall", Moriarty tells Sherlock that "he's already told him" what the final problem is. If that's true, it could be an Irene Adler-worthy riddle (although I'm doubting it's Moriarty's measurements) or it could be something he says or does prior to that moment in time. Just a thought for later.<br />
<br />
7. Who is this <a href="http://sc.aithine.org/sherlock/103/05/sherlock-103-04078.jpg">guy</a>? Right after the first pip, Sherlock returns back to his flat to see the basement apartment. After Lestrade, Sherlock, and Watson enter, this couple moves past Speedy. There's no need for this extension of the scene. But look at the guy who is talking to the shorter woman, in particular, look at his hairline. He looks a little like Jim, no? Wandering around London, just like the rest of us? The art of disguise, after all, is knowing how to hide in plain sight.<br />
<br />
8. Taking the USB chip - This also reinforces my sister's theory; Sherlock is willing to use top secret codes to lure Moriarty out into the open. But it's not really what Moriarty wants ("Boring! I could get those anywhere") - which we need to assume Sherlock would know. Particularly later on for the Reichenbach Fall when he attempts to "return" the code to Moriarty on the top of St. Bart's. That's not the sort of mistake Sherlock would make twice, so why is he so quick to sell out his country's secrets just to arrange a meeting with Moriarty?<br />
<br />
9. Sherlock's fake crying - When talking to Ian Monkford's wife, Sherlock really turns on the tears. For those people who think his crying is out of character on top of St. Bart's, this scene pretty much shoots that theory in the foot. The question is why does he cry? I don't think he's genuinely sad (obviously) but he's trying to sell his story to someone. Not John, since John would never believe that about his friend, but someone else. The question is: who?<br />
<br />
10. No Germany - at least, nothing I could find easily. Heavy Dutch and Czech emphasis here (Wenceslas, Van Buren, the Golem, Vermeer). Slight overlap but nothing that screams "German conspiracy is a go!"the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-72182874797737344802013-12-31T06:14:00.000-08:002013-12-31T06:16:02.511-08:00Sherlock Rewatch: The Blind Banker (Season One, Episode Two)"The Blind Banker" which I think we ALL can agree is the weakest installment in the Sherlock canon, opens with a tea ceremony and a date request.<br />
<br />
<img height="179" src="http://www.darkmediaonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/blindbanker1.jpg" width="320" /><br />
<br />
Since I'm currently obsessed with the notion that these opening scenes matter intensely, I'm going with the reiteration of one of <i>Sherlock</i>'s central motifs here: You wouldn't like me if you knew the real me. The series loves to play with the idea of disguise as an extension of our inner selves (we see this most poetically in "Scandal in Belgravia" with the priest costume and the naked dominatrix) but the two-sided facet to the human mind is an idea oft-reiterated as well (in next episode's Janus Cars, for example).<br />
<br />
The creators of Sherlock love the idea that a criminal mastermind could be walking around, just like everybody else, unassuming in disposition until it's too late.<br />
<br />
Really, only a few things of significance or note happened in this episode (for me, personally, although I'm sure for others, this episode was their favorite):<br />
<br />
1. The Code - we get introduced to the smuggler's code here (the Chinese numbers that correspond to page numbers in the tourist's guidebook). The episode ends with Sherlock commenting that the next code is probably already in play and John watching a Chinese street tagger using white paint to write a new cypher on a mailbox (I think it's a mailbox). If something is going to get taken from this episode and manipulated later, my money is that it's the code.<br />
<br />
2. John gets mistaken for Sherlock - I think this one is crucial, actually. John very easily gets mistaken for Sherlock - he has Sherlock's tickets and a check for Sherlock in his wallet. He also was overhead saying "I'm the great Sherlock Holmes!" sarcastically (but we all know how well that translates). It's just that easy. It also makes Moriarty's statement that he is Sherlock/Sherlock is him feel that much more significant. In this world, it is really that simple to become somebody else.<br />
<br />
3. The German Tourists - THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON HERE WITH GERMANY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT. BUT THERE IS SOMETHING.<br />
<br />
4. We all get to meet Benedict Cumberbatch's ex-girlfriend and rejoice in her beautiful normalcy, thus giving legions of single women everywhere the hope that they too can snag a sexy otter-faced actor of their own someday. Yay, Cheekbones!<br />
<br />
5. Sherlock flirts with Molly. Many people seem to think Sherlock asking Molly for help is "out of character" for him. It's really not, if you watch the early episodes. He even manipulates her best by taking advantage of her known feelings for him. He might employ different tactics later, but Sherlock isn't immune to knowing when someone has feelings for him and exploiting those feelings when it benefits him.<br />
<br />
6. Whoever is in charge of the newspapers here deserves a handshake. "Who Wants to be a Million-Hair". HA! But, seriously, the effort put into the newspapers is crucial. Later, they'll sneak by an article about the renovations at St. Bart's. Clue for Reichenbach? Probably.<br />
<br />
7. Cinematographic juxtaposition. We get a glimpse of the beauty of "Scandal"'s juxtaposition in the scene of John and Sherlock at the beginning of this episode. While John fights with "a machine", Sherlock squares off with masked assailant. It's quick and campy but hints at greatness to come. These writers love a good foil.<br />
<br />
8. Longshot Theory: Chinese acrobatics help Sherlock "fall"<br />
<br />
<br />
See you next episode.<br />
<br />
<br />the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-57635705363907201452013-12-30T18:01:00.000-08:002013-12-30T18:01:22.186-08:00Sherlock Rewatch: A Study in Pink (Season One, Episode One)My family is obsessed with Sherlock. We love him when he's post-Victorian. We love him when he's post-modern. We love him when he's in New York City and Watson is played by an American female.<br />
<br />
But we love him most as Benedict Cumberbatch.<br />
<br />
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTBXTvkUYtKIbcr9_NCCB7FImr29MH73C2jzeevHXz5moCzWC6omA" /><br />
<br />
My sister and I recently (today, in fact) decided to do an entire series rewatch before the third season premieres. I've been searching for Moffat's mysterious clue (read more about that <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2012/jan/20/steven-moffat-sherlock-doctor-who">here</a>) in the second season finale and it seemed like a good idea to review the earlier episodes.<br />
<br />
To aid in the process of finding out what would be "out of character" for Sherlock and to ogle the British eye candy that is Benedict Cumberbatch.<br />
<br />
I swear I'm not a stalker.<br />
<br />
My sister has a pretty amazing theory of her own; I'll let her share that in her reviews. For me, this is about finding things that fit and don't fit; looking for clues to help decipher the one that got away later.<br />
<br />
Shall we?<br />
<br />
"A Study in Pink" is a decent series introduction. It's quick paced, flashy, and visually stimulating. Plus, I think the set designer is having the best time ever. Seriously, the man or woman who found <a href="http://www.tangletree-interiors.co.uk/wallpaper/zoffany/nureyev/navarre/">this</a> deserves to have their hand shaken.<br />
<br />
But not if that means they're about to die, which seems to happen to a lot of the people Sherlock shakes hands with.<br />
<br />
<img src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" /><br />
<br />
Here are some basic observations from the episode:<br />
<br />
1. The story's "solution" is very much right in our faces from the very beginning. Now, I'd read the novella so I was anticipating a taxi driver/cab driver to be involved, but if you pay attention to the opening montage, the cab or the words "taxi' or "cab" are quite prominent. There is no attempt to hide what's happening; everything is right in front of our eyes. Misdirection is tricky, especially when it is so overt.<br />
<br />
2. Germany. There are a lot of German/Germany references in these shows. The obvious one here is "rache" - which is German for revenge. Yes, I know, it's also a spin on the original tale which was, in fact, a murder motivated by revenge. That meaning has been supplanted here. However, considering the deluge of German references in later episodes (including, most notably, the recent minisode which had Sherlock presiding over a jury convened over "special circumstances" in a country which notably doesn't operate on the jury system. One might ask "why not just use a country that does use a jury system?"...I don't know. Something about Germany is significant, even if it's just the beloved birthplace of one of the writers or something).<br />
<br />
The fact that Reichenbach translates to Richard Brook seems to be a clear homage to this episode's subversion of the translation from the original. It makes me wonder a little if other episodes' clues will also get manipulated in "The Reichenbach Fall."<br />
<br />
3. Sherlock isn't easily phased. I deliberately watched the final scene between Jeff and Sherlock carefully to gauge Sherlock's reaction when Jeff gets shot. Sherlock is remarkably poised. Not stoic, but not the flailing, coat-sniffing mad man that he is at the end of "The Reichenbach Fall." Important? Probably not, but I feel compelled to mention it.<br />
<br />
4. Key words: bored (Jeff asks Sherlock if he is "bored", for example), ordinary, the description of Moriarty as "more than a man", Sherlock's repeated phrase "I have no idea" when we're pretty sure he does.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure if there is anything here that I missed too much from previous viewings. We get the sense that Sherlock, from very early on in the show, has an understanding of Moriarty as an organization. If he senses that Moriarty is a criminal mastermind who enjoys game-playing (which is fairly easy to deduce from the facts at hand), then it's simple to assume that Moriarty is targeting Sherlock already ("you've got a fan, Mr. Holmes"). For me, that means everything that happens next happens with Sherlock's anticipation of Moriarty ever-bringing their worlds closer and closer together. He expects a direct confrontation. I would argue, he also probably predicts that their interaction will most likely end in death.<br />
<br />
Although, it is tough to kill an organization.<br />
<br />
See you after the next episode.<br />
<br />the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-76887611012046997772013-12-29T14:17:00.001-08:002013-12-29T16:15:18.432-08:00Film Review: Reviving OpheliaI'm a sucker for anything Shakespeare-related. Even if, as in this case, someone just happened to have a copy of <i>Hamlet</i> lying around and they just sort of waved the book around a little here and there for thematic spice.<br />
<br />
AND EXTENDED METAPHOR.<br />
<br />
y'all know how much I love one of them.<br />
<br />
This is the movie poster:<br />
<br />
<img alt="RevivingOphelia.jpg" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/7f/RevivingOphelia.jpg/220px-RevivingOphelia.jpg" /><br />
<br />
If I had seen it, I might not have put the movie on. Already I can tell that short-healthy-BMI-ed-Kate-Middleton is not engaged in a healthy relationship with short-Freddie-Prinze-Jr. Just look at that chiaroscuro in her chin dimple. It very much wants me to feel afraid.<br />
<br />
And then there's "Kelli", the blond cousin, staring fearfully at the passionately-embraced lovers. She is the one who reads<i> Hamlet</i> in English class and manages to put together the pieces of her cousin's abusive relationship.<br />
<br />
That Shakespeare, so good at alerting us from the past about our bad decisions in the present.<br />
<br />
Also, what the hell is up with that athletic jacket font?<br />
Odd, that.<br />
<br />
Shall we do this thing then?<br />
<br />
The film opens with the mom from<i> Malcolm in the Middle</i> (not, sadly, another Shakespeare reference, although that would be a fascinating way to re-do <i>Macbeth</i>, no?) baking in her expensive and huge and spotless kitchen (I notice these things now that I don't have an expensive, huge, or spotless kitchen of my own) with two teenagers - Elizabeth (healthy Duchess Kate), who is her daughter, and Kelli, (prickly blond) who is her grubby-pawed niece whose early sole function seems to be eating frosting out of one of the 5 bowls of frosting they've got out.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://www.thehotline.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Reviving-Ophelia-trailer1-300x165.png" /><br />
This is going to be one hell of a birthday cake.<br />
<br />
Peppy music alerts us to the fact that this should be a happy occasion - Elizabeth's birthday - however, it is quickly sullied (too, too sullied) by Elizabeth's dependency on texting her boyfriend and by Kelli's surly "you're so much luckier than I am/my life sucks" demeanor. Predictably, Elizabeth's beloved Mark shows up to rescue her from eating cake (there were like 242 candles on it; it probably melted before they ate it anyways) and Kelli uses "studying for a Hamlet quiz" as an excuse to make a strategic leave as well.<br />
<br />
In Kelli's case, that means going back to her house and partying with three friends - skeevy hot boy whose voice sounds exactly like Mark's, skeevy girl friend who gets what Kelli's lascivious eye gestures really mean, and nice guy who cluelessly doesn't get what's about to happen as soon as he and skeevy girl leave.<br />
<br />
Ay, madam, it is common.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://compass-images-3.comcast.net/ccp_img/pkr_prod/VMS_POC_Image_Ingest/9/694/media-9182930906793339694-rovi_2x1_Overlay_1280_640_1280x640_21188816.jpg" /><br />
Meanwhile, back at Elizabeth's house, Malcolm's mom and her ridiculously blond sister are having their cake and pretending to eat it too. Honestly, who doesn't eat the frosting???<br />
<br />
Blasphemers.<br />
<br />
They're arguing. That seems to be their dynamic. Malcolm's mom lives a charmed life with a "perfect" daughter and reliably pleasant baking skills while Blond sister made poor life decisions and now has a "surly" daughter and a very busy job at a car dealership.<br />
<br />
I'd like to pretend there was more to this storyline but there really isn't. Sibling rivalry, be damned. Turns out, they're both equally shitty moms.<br />
<br />
Blond sister returns home to find Kelli acting out <i>Hamlet</i>, Act 3, Scene 2 in her living room (only Kelli's assuming the role of Hamlet here). Country matters, indeed! This poor life decision leads to Blond Sister forcing Surly Daughter to spend her afternoons with Perfect Cousin and Da-Bomb Aunt because she can no longer be trusted not to give strange boys blow jobs while mom is at work.<br />
<br />
I shit you not. That's how they contrive that.<br />
<br />
Of course, her night is bizarrely less nauseating than Perfect Cousin who has gone parking with her Stalker Boyfriend Mark. While sitting in the car, they play a cloying game of "let's name our future puppy children!" right before she promises to give Mark her super-secret-lady-treasure.<br />
<br />
But not in the car, like a common girl. In a bed, like a whore.<br />
<br />
Much is made of how great friends Surly Daughter and Perfect Cousin used to be, before they turned into angst-addled teenagers battling their own personal inner demons, carved from a lifetime of having to deal with their crazy-bitch-mothers and absentee father figures (one for work, one a jerk).<br />
<br />
Good thing they now have to spend so much mother-mandated time together!!!<br />
<br />
It takes Surly Daughter very little time to realize that she was headed down a bad path and make a complete life change. It takes her even less time (maybe 2 English classes) to figure out her Perfect Cousin is in a Not-Perfect-Relationship with Stalker-Boyfriend Mark. Seriously, I think her hot teacher says something like "love and death are linked in Shakespeare" and she's all light-bulb-over-head concluding that her cousin is about to die a horrible, horrible death at the hands of her weirdly short boyfriend.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://s4.hubimg.com/u/3931111_f260.jpg" /><br />
<br />
Can you see where this one is going?<br />
<br />
First off, we get to learn all the cool new stalker tricks. Not only can your psycho stalker find you via your phone's GPS, but he also can text you constantly, call you when you don't answer his texts, and climb your drain pipe to sneak into your bedroom when you're not around at his beck and call. All of these things will be important later.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/LR2EO2KVtu8/hqdefault.jpg" /><br />
<br />
We also get Mark's backstory: his mommy is gone. Perfect Daughter translates this as "she's dead" but Mark assures us "She left". If we try desperately to apply this to <i>Hamlet,</i> we put Mark in the central role here (obs.) and his Mom is either Gertrude, shacking up with his uncle, or Old Hamlet, deadish but still a-hauntin'.<br />
<br />
Either way, it means Mark's got issues.<br />
<br />
Let's ponder the greater implications of the title next, shall we? Since, you know, clearly the writers and producers failed to do so. If we are meant to think Mark is Hamlet, why the hell was Kelli's head in her boyfriend's lap? And her dad is actually gone. She's the much better pick here! But she isn't. She just points out Mark's ex "went kinda crazy" - so it seems young stalker boy has a history of turning bitches into Ophelias.<br />
<br />
Do me a solid, Lifetime, read <i>Hamlet</i> before you rely on it so heavily for metaphor.<br />
<br />
<br />
<img src="http://moms.mylifetime.com/files/imagecache/scale_crop_622x414/2010/09/27/cdb66f553aa90c9205e34ec13c04b589.jpg" /><br />
Meanwhile, back in Elsinore, Malcolm's mom still hasn't figured out that her daughter isn't Perfect. Even though Kelli tries to warn her. It takes one terrible lie about a car accident followed by her child getting hit by Mark in front of witnesses for Malcolm's mom to finally act hurt and get indignant.<br />
<br />
Perfect Daughter still wants Mark. Mark, Mark, Mark.<br />
<br />
In case you forgot about Surly Cousin, let's bring it back to her for a moment. Because this film LOVES foiling, she is also having her own relationship right now with the nice guy who left her alone to orally pleasure the skeevy guy. Turns out, Surly is a poet! A bard, one might even say.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://i1197.photobucket.com/albums/aa436/RaCKReD/DReAM/899c8c00.png" /><br />
If one were drunk. Or confused.<br />
<br />
Kelli's fledgling relationship hits a low note at the beginning when she tells her new would-be-beau that she won't go down on him (take that, Hamlet! Ophelia, REVIVED!), but I think the relationship really hits its stride when, at the beginning of their date, Nice Guy asks her who her "paradigms" are.<br />
<br />
I just about peed myself.<br />
<br />
It's like when you're a sophomore in high school and you want to sound SO smart so you write an essay about <i>Romeo and Juliet</i> or whatever and you thesaurus the crap out of it. Instead of two feuding families, you get twain vigilante ancestors.<br />
<br />
AND YOUR ENGLISH TEACHER LAUGHS HER WAY THROUGH YOUR C-.<br />
<br />
But Kelli isn't an English teacher, so she merely swoons over Nice Guy, compliments his swell diction, and then lists some truly useless "role models" or "bands she digs" (a.k.a. paradigms). Everybody keeps their clothes on and we revel in the magic of two teenagers having a normal, pretentiously idiotic conversation in between abusive Mark and Elizabeth episodes.<br />
<br />
Which is good because in the Lifetime school of juxtaposition that means Elizabeth has to get hit by Mark now that Kelli is on her way to healthyland. Enter Mark who suspects that Elizabeth is flirting with a fellow chemistry classmate and slaps her so hard that the blood comes out already dried to her perfect-Kate-Middleton face.<br />
<br />
Honestly, I'd like to pretend I paid real close attention here, but I didn't. All I know is that somebody apparently took a picture of our heroine after she gets hit by Mark, slapped a caption on it, and threw it up on Facebook for her (AND THE WORLD) to see. The caption?<br />
<br />
Wherefore Art Thou, Romeo?<br />
<br />
I can't even.<br />
<br />
Look, as an English teacher, I think it's bad enough that they're traipsing all over <i>Hamlet</i> like it's not one of the most famous plays in all of literature. But that line ain't even from<i> Hamlet</i>! This isn't REVIVING JULIET! It's REVIVING OPHELIA! GET WITH THE PROGRAM, PEOPLE. And, when you use "wherefore" to mean "where" instead of "why", well, it just frosts all my Elizabethan cookies.<br />
<br />
Wherefore art thou so fucking stupid, Lifetime Movie. WHEREFORE?!?!<br />
<br />
Seriously, Google that shit first, would ya?<br />
<br />
There are a few more subplots here: Surly Daughter manages to get some self pride and writes poems that her new nice boyfriend turns into songs for his shitty band to play, Perfect Daughter goes to therapy and googles "How do I know I'm in an abusive relationship?", and Mark stays out of prison until he shows up in Perfect Daughter's bedroom and threatens to hug her until they both die or she takes him back.<br />
<br />
I wanted to see how he handled going potty.<br />
But, alas, Poor Yorick, it wasn't meant to be.<br />
<br />
<img src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" /><br />
Thankfully, around this time, Ophelia has had just about enough of Hamlet's mood swinging and abuse. She's even able to look at his puppy dog eyes and not take him back (THANKS FOR THE SHITTY ADVICE, WORST FRIEND EVER!!!).<br />
<br />
But Mark still is wandering free, so we best resolve that issue right fast. WWHD (What would Hamlet do)???<br />
<br />
Nothing. He'd be in England by this point. He'd have killed her dad and lost the remainders of his marbles. Then Ophelia would have made some nifty flower necklaces and attempted to play undersea mermaid palace in the icy Denmarkian undertow. End scene.<br />
<br />
Obviously, that is not how it is going to play out here.<br />
<br />
I figure Mark will get a gun and pretend to shoot their imaginary puppy children. Instead, he gets a gun and threatens to shoot Ophelia while she's out at a coffee shop-musical event hosted by her cousin's new boyfriend Laertes.<br />
<br />
Just kidding. That's not his name.<br />
<br />
SHOULD HAVE TURNED OFF YOUR PHONE'S GPS, OPHELIA.<br />
<br />
<img alt="Jennifer Fidler's photo." height="234" src="https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/s261x260/1521905_10202204719093257_1600147517_n.jpg" width="400" /><br />
<br />
but this is Lifetime, so happy ending it is. Mark gets arrested and shouts "I WAS JUST PLAYING! I NEVER WOULD HAVE REALLY KILLED YOU! BELIEVE ME! WE CAN STILL HAVE PUPPIES TOGETHER!!" and then Ophelia bakes celebratory cookies, healed magically from whatever defect caused her to obsessively love Mark to begin with and ready to make amends with her new BFF Surly Cousin.<br />
<br />
BECAUSE IT IS JUST THAT EASY.<br />
<br />
the rest, thank god, is silence.the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-4871304334305396842013-10-15T16:42:00.000-07:002013-10-22T06:12:26.958-07:00On Sleepy Hollow, Episode 5: John Doe (eth)My inner medievalist is raging.<br />
<br />
Once upon a time, I labored for hours, in the dankest corners of my semi-elite college's library, teaching myself a cursory knowledge of Middle English. Yes, by the end, I sounded like the Swedish Chef, and, yeah, I've forgotten most of what I once clamored to know. And, sure, I am not the foremost medieval scholar in the country, nor do I pretend to be. But I still get a jolly good kick out of throwing out a guttural yogh on occasion. Just for giggles.<br />
<br />
This week's episode of Sleepy Hollow pissed on everything I know to be true about Middle English.<br />
<br />
Don't get me wrong. I am certainly not looking for historical truth in this series (I mean, we did all see last week's treatment of the Boston Tea Party, RIGHT?). But to my inner medievalist, these sins were egregious.<br />
<br />
<img src="http://t.qkme.me/3op82x.jpg" /><br />
<br />
In rewatching the episode with my hubby, I managed to actually HEAR most of what was being thrown around as "Middle English" or "the language of Chaucer" or whatever Icky purported it to be. First off, they don't pronounce the "yogh" (you hear this omission best when they say the word "night" and it sounds, well, like the word "night") and the grammar structure was Germanic, not Middle English. They opted not to pluralize verbs correctly at all and favored the "ich" which, in the Middle Ages, was an early northern dialect at best and certainly not the aforementioned language of Chaucer, a late medieval poet who favored heavily the I (or, you know, y because spelling was fluid) with the pre-vowel shift pronunciation. Surely Crane would have studied that at Oxford. So, really, whatever it is they're doing is much closer to German than to Middle English.<br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8; color: #4e5665; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;">It's also still bothering me that the writers are choosing willfully, despite giving us helpful dates, to ignore that Roanoke was concurrent with Elizabethan or Early Modern English, which, for all intents and purposes, might as well be called Shakespeare's English. Not Chaucer's. And definitely not Beowulf's. So the fact they are speaking any weird pidgin Middle-English-Germanic hybrid at all is still a big fucking mystery.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;">Thankfully, now that the television is set to the appropriate volume and my bilateral ear infection is on the mend, I can hear it so I can be appropriately outraged.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #f6f7f8;"><br /></span>the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-14213367346299339792012-08-04T20:20:00.001-07:002012-08-04T20:20:15.214-07:00The Muppets (Film #17)<img src="https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTmiz1QKgekmkkZhUuYeYcPskAPdKeWCLIBuAfb0TwnOZYpU95Rbg" />
<br />
<br />
I love the muppets. And I'm glad to see they still haven't lost their touch.<br />
<br />
I watched this one about a month ago and I've got two kids under four so I really only remember the following:<br />
<br />
1. Amy Adams has just the right amount of crazy eyes.<br />
2. Everybody and their cousin had a cameo in this film.<br />
3. Jason Segel can actually be likable when he's not in <i>Bad Teacher</i>.<br />
4. Chris Cooper can really bust a move.<br />
5.Kidnapping Jack Black is a great plot device.<br />
6. I would totally, totally watch "Punch Teacher"<br />
7. Emily Blunt should totally just make a career out of playing that character from<i> The Devil Wears Prada</i>.<br />
8.Walter wasn't my favorite muppet, but he also wasn't my least favorite.<br />
9. I'm pretty sure the movie accidentally promotes the notion that "like should stay would like"<br />
10. I still liked it, regardless.<br />
<br />
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQvIlpMlPYw7ym5zq5Z8dcYxxO86DwPtkb4PrTVU46-1N0xEedM" />the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-68475183380146481422012-08-04T20:12:00.002-07:002012-08-04T20:12:59.616-07:00Bad Teacher (Film #16)<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b2/Bad_Teacher_Poster.jpg/220px-Bad_Teacher_Poster.jpg" />
<br />
<br />
Remember when Cameron Diaz was a Charlie's angel and people thought she was fun loving and swell, even if she laughed like a horse, because she had a rockin' body?<br />
<br />
yeah, this isn't THAT Cameron Diaz.<br />
<br />
Which, I guess, means she has "range" - if you consider "superficial bitch" a stretch (and for the record, I really don't here). Whatever.<br />
<br />
Here's the premise: Elizabeth Halsey (Diaz) loves money. Money, money, money. And hates teaching, a career she is partaking in until her fiance marries her and she can retire to a world of wealth that she never had to earn. Sufficed to say that plan doesn't work (or, you know, as the muppets would say, this movie would have been a lot shorter). It's back to work for dear Elizabeth who spends her nights binge-drinking and getting high with her creepy Craigslist roommate and her days showing movies to her middle-school aged students who are content to do no work and let their teacher sleep.<br />
<br />
Right. Because that's not a damning depiction of the American educational system from all levels.<br />
<br />
It does, naturally, get worse (for America's teachers) and a bit better for Miss Halsey. A new substitute teacher is an heir to some made-up clock fortune who is apparently biding his time in education until he finds something else to tickle his fortune. He is played by Diaz's real-life ex Justin Timberlake and that possible tension is the only thing compelling about the film.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, JT only likes girls with big hearts. And boobs.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, Elizabeth is willing to have surgery.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, she lives with the Craigslist moocher and has no money for new tits.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, she has the wealth of her students to exploit - from fundraisers to "tutoring".<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, it's still not enough.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, there's a bonus for the teacher who gets the best scores on the state's standardized test and that should be enough to cover the rest of the costs.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, that's where the film totally lost me.<br />
<br />
Look, I get it. Elizabeth is a superficial girl who has to learn her real priorities and strengths in life in order to grow and succeed and get a boyfriend who doesn't awkwardly dry hump her while yelling "No talking!" (Timberlake's BEST scene in the movie, BTW). But damn.<br />
<br />
A female protagonist who is a greedy, money-hungry golddigger, a school filled with highly incompetent admin and teachers who are either over-the-top nutso enthusiasts or dispassionate drug addicts who could care less, a romantic triangle with the most unlikable three characters in the planet, and THEN they promote teaching to the test!<br />
<br />
FOR SHAME!<br />
<br />
Actually, I'm pretty sure this film is a subversive examination of the dangers of stifling teacher freedom and creativity in the classroom by mandating that we limit ourselves to the standardized tests that get used to evaluate our success in the classroom.<br />
<br />
But convince other people of that!<br />
<br />
I don't know, the whole movie felt shamefully hollow to me and the end - which I will spoil for you right now - where Elizabeth becomes a GUIDANCE COUNSELOR because she had some small degree of success helping a nerdy boy score major points with his peers (BY GIVING HIM HER BRA!!!) and no degree of success as a teacher is perhaps the most upsetting chestnut of them all.<br />
<br />
Sorry, just didn't get the point of this one!<br />
<br />
<br />the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-18184695218208231212012-08-04T19:47:00.000-07:002012-08-04T19:47:06.321-07:0021 Jump Street (Film #15)When I started living with a boy, I had to learn a valuable lesson in cinematic compromise. I like movies like this:<br />
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQTgIQPHd-noscgNd4ZIgeXsXfNF64IAFp0USLKOGQvMA2x6jaz" />
<br />
<br />
And he likes ones like this:<br />
<br />
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTeFv3g7L_2f11E7OzHFF7AE01toygq6umY8i6HXtAA7fzsZqqPyA" />
<br />
<br />
And so we have learned to split the difference and watch movies like this:<br />
<br />
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQkJ_8PsfO_ZrTzz_4dx7DJeTSH-my9Tz9YKIbzQ-sgvRKKxq9w" />
<br />
<br />
Oh, wait, nevermind. <i>21 Jump Street</i> is nothing like <i>Steel Magnolias</i>.<br />
<br />
Sigh.<br />
<br />
Look, this movie isn't Hitchcock. It's not Truffaut. It's barely "cinema." But it is funny. And even prissy bitches like me can appreciate that.<br />
<br />
Even if you never watched a single episode of the original, you probably remember the premise (if you're over the age of 22 and you care about pop culture, like, at all). Youngish looking cops get put in an undercover squad where they can infiltrate high school crimes like drugs and gangs and bad Eminem hair.<br />
<br />
I rarely if ever like either of the two male leads in anything - with the exception of Jonah Hill in <i>Moneyball</i> and Channing Tatum in a shirt. Oddly, I like them both here.<br />
<br />
Like a lot.<br />
<br />
And not in a "they're sooooo dreamy" kind of way. Because for most of the opening bits they look like this:<br />
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRtjuq2T0pn_cR4B6YBK5bT_8NhiJyZfZygrYam07HHf2YMAX3P" />
<br />
<br />
I mean more so for their chemistry - uneasy brothers who love each other, even when they sort of hate each other. Better, they're both believable as complete and utter screw ups, so there's that.<br />
<br />
Plot-wise, there isn't so much to say - kids in high school taking crazy new drug and Tweedledee and Tweedledum need to figure out the source while psychologically reversing the damage accrued during their own high school experiences (For Tatum, not being able to go to prom; for Hill, well, look at the poor boy and just guess).<br />
<br />
I laughed a lot at the stupidity and the tongue-in-cheek snarkiness of the film. And any movie with Johnny Depp (in the best cameo EVER that he shares poetically with Peter Deluise) is okay in my book. For me, it was all about bike cops, James Franco's little brother, the best tripped out Peter Pan audition ever, and a pretty impressive nerd makeover.<br />
<br />
Good times were had by all.<br />
<br />
But still mostly by Tim.the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4332478024373263725.post-81774547343278530012012-06-29T18:42:00.001-07:002012-06-29T18:42:53.079-07:00One for the Money (Film #14)A more honest title I never knew.<br />
<br />
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTqer4fmzeQO0-toBGxRbeucwZ3qi3vFYiKHDgfr6YLmxpm3aJ04w" />
<br />
<br />
This is my second Katherine Heigl movie for the fifty-fifty challenge, and, much like when I go see a Tom Cruise movie, I have to wonder: what's all that about, then???<br />
<br />
I mean, I haven't "liked" Katherine Heigl in much - <i>My Father, The Hero</i> and <i>27 Dresses</i> pretty much constitute the highlights of her career for me.<br />
<br />
And, as I said in my review of <i>Life as We Know It</i>, she pretty much has one character.<br />
<br />
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTv818Xo8yvNWr0tTLnvSIfMZayNOVNhiCg9q6wbn2wuqMyNZnI" />
<br />
<br />
Look, I'll admit it, way before Stephanie Plum was a twinkle in Heigl's agent's eye, I was picturing the lovable loser as a more rugged version of the actress. But Heigl, the real one, not my mind's eye one, is way too...manicured to be Jersey trash.<br />
<br />
You can dye her hair brown and perm it all you want but you can't make her Jersey, you know?<br />
<br />
The sad reality is that no one else in the movie even remotely looks how I pictured them in the book. Ranger doesn't look dangerous; he looks like a vaguely ethnic underwear model. Joe Morelli doesn't project "oversexed cop" just "cop over his head." Grandma Mazur isn't the spry, scrawny firecracker from the books; she's Debbie fucking Reynolds who looks about as comfortable chewing the campy scenery whilst wielding a gun as Heigl does holding a cupcake.<br />
<br />
Or a gun.<br />
<br />
Or being in close proximity to a hamster.<br />
<br />
Or meatball.<br />
<br />
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTAf_DeC0B_DMB-StYHFhrrrFGCootjrhcEto67W3doIDslkx3p" />
<br />
(Caption: Can you believe they're paying us for this shit???)<br />
<br />
It was all just a little too...perfect. And I felt bad for Janet Evanovich who created a character that they could have done so much more with but who becomes a flat cardboard cutout of a human being here.<br />
<br />
But the good news is: I see a long shelf-life of made-for-television gold here in the future.<br />
<br />
Just leave the Heigl at home.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />the ruined maidhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13383969015390866781noreply@blogger.com0