The Lucky One (Book #4)

Nicholas Sparks has a perverse definition of love.

Figure One: Love, Sparks-style

Not just because Zac Efron is involved.

Sparks has a formula that he loves: emotionally broken young man finds emotionally too-tough female and together they break down the barriers that separate them.

By falling in love.

With each other.

Amidst the backdrop of tragedy.

Here, it's the story of Logan, the ex-GI Joe, and Elizabeth, the stalwart single mother. Logan finds Beth's picture on the battlefield and it becomes this uber-creepy lucky charm that seems to keep him from harm whilst simultaneously killing those around him. Post-war, Logan's best war friend tells him that he "owes the woman" something for all the luck she gave him. Then, he gets killed by a motorboat.

No, seriously, that's what happens.

Figure Two: And, no, not this kind of motorboat

Let's say that, despite the obstacles of mortality, Logan is haunted/visited by his deceased BFF who continues to urge him to do things.

Like walk to North Carolina from Colorado.

Or train a German Shepherd.

Or work at a local dog kennel that happens to be owned and run by Elizabeth's stroke-addled Nana.

Figure Three: Manure? I hardly know her!

The rest is sort of predictable: Logan imprints on the boss's daughter and he and Elizabeth fall totes in love. Elizabeth's precocious son thinks Logan is the artistic, sensitive father figure that his own law officer/founding family biological D-bag of dad isn't. Nana gets one hell of a worker for minimal pay and sexual favors (by granddaughter proxy).

So? Where's the tragedy?

This deviates a bit from the formula in the sense that no one here coughs, gets some devastating fast-paced cancerlike illness, and dies. Instead, we get flood season, a quasi-rape attempt, and the most awkward attempt at redemption ever.

I won't tell you who bites it.

What creeps me out the most about this book is, per usual, the female character. Here, a single mother with the world's most controlling, one-dimensional villain of a husband (another Sparkian specialty) finds love with a man who not only kept her (a stranger's) picture for years but also tracked down her exact location, integrated himself into her family dynamic, and made it his business to save/help/sleep with/whatever her.

And she has the audacity to point out that she's so blessed to find someone who loves her for all her imperfections.

Right.

But, whatever, I'll still see the movie.

If for no other reason than to make fun of this scene:

Figure Four: Elizabeth looks for hidden photographs. In Logan's pants.