This is my second Katherine Heigl movie for the fifty-fifty challenge, and, much like when I go see a Tom Cruise movie, I have to wonder: what's all that about, then???
I mean, I haven't "liked" Katherine Heigl in much - My Father, The Hero and 27 Dresses pretty much constitute the highlights of her career for me.
And, as I said in my review of Life as We Know It, she pretty much has one character.
Look, I'll admit it, way before Stephanie Plum was a twinkle in Heigl's agent's eye, I was picturing the lovable loser as a more rugged version of the actress. But Heigl, the real one, not my mind's eye one, is way too...manicured to be Jersey trash.
You can dye her hair brown and perm it all you want but you can't make her Jersey, you know?
The sad reality is that no one else in the movie even remotely looks how I pictured them in the book. Ranger doesn't look dangerous; he looks like a vaguely ethnic underwear model. Joe Morelli doesn't project "oversexed cop" just "cop over his head." Grandma Mazur isn't the spry, scrawny firecracker from the books; she's Debbie fucking Reynolds who looks about as comfortable chewing the campy scenery whilst wielding a gun as Heigl does holding a cupcake.
Or a gun.
Or being in close proximity to a hamster.
Or meatball.
(Caption: Can you believe they're paying us for this shit???)
It was all just a little too...perfect. And I felt bad for Janet Evanovich who created a character that they could have done so much more with but who becomes a flat cardboard cutout of a human being here.
But the good news is: I see a long shelf-life of made-for-television gold here in the future.
Just leave the Heigl at home.
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