Sherlock Conspiracy Theory Rears Its Ugly (Fake) Head: More Thoughts and Spoilers from "The Empty Hearse"

Okay, I'm sorry, but you see, I've become Anderson.

And this is how I watch Sherlock now.

Because of all my hard time watching and rewatching earlier episodes, I feel like I have a pretty excellent understanding of the Sherlockian universe. So, with all that said, there a few things still bothering me about yesterday's stunning return.

1. The distinct tonal shift from the previous two seasons. Sherlock has always been a little campy (maniacally so with Andrew Scott's depiction of Moriarty) but it read heavily as drama first. Comic relief certainly occurs, but I'm pretty sure I debated crying for John during The Reichenbach Fall. With Sherlock's gleeful return comes a new surge of manic comedy. While some of it holds true to canon (Mrs. Hudson's histrionics with the frying pan, for example), others do not (Sherlock's nod to Inspector Clouseau). Look, I get that Sherlock meets John again when he is in disguise and that dressing up is something he does frequently. But the scene where he dresses up like a waiter and buffoonishly tromps around the restaurant is off-putting to say the least. And a far departure from the ancient bookseller he appears as in "The Empty House." It felt more like Italian farce and it was distinctly more playful than I recall pre-fall Sherlock being.

2. Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary. Or, perhaps, distinctly not contrary at all. That, too, works with the canon - Mary was no shrew; she never tried to stop John from playing with Sherlock and recognized their work as important. But there is something up with Mary, yes? Let's look at another screencap of Sherlock's reading of her:

Here are the words of distinct interest to me: clever, shortsighted, guardian, linguist, secret, and liar. Don't get me wrong; I love that she's a size 12 (American size 8) and bakes her own bread, but those aren't really of importance to anything besides her waistline and the projected depiction of her as nurturing and maternal.

A friend of mine argues that Guardian refers to the newspaper, not the role. I think it could be more than that. We already know her politics lean left, so whether or not she reads the Guardian is of little import (and, yes, I know that newspaper reading is a different thing altogether in England than it is here). That leaves two other possibilities: her personality type (myer-briggs) is Guardian or that she operates in some capacity as a guardian herself (as a nurse, that would not be too great of a stretch. also, in intervening on Sherlock's behalf for John's betterment, she, too, seeks to protect and help her fiance). So, that's something to ponder. We also know she is a liar and I've given my thoughts about that as well. The fact that she's clever and a linguist are also particularly of note to me. If she's a nurse, Mary's linguistic skills might pay off with foreign patients. But a secret, clever, lying linguist with a part-time job? That sounds a little bit like my sister might be right and Mary might have been hired by Mycroft to keep tabs on John while Sherlock's away.

Of course, there's another possibility: that Mary will somehow be connected to the big bad. We know precious little about Mary (I suspect we will have a far better picture after Sunday's Sign of Three when we meet whatever she has by way of friends or extended family). I keep thinking about John's abduction. It doesn't make sense. It bothers me. Why does the mystery man in the shadows want John? And, if it's to get to Sherlock specifically, why send the warning to Mary? Let's ponder our Big Bad a little more, shall we?

3. Magnusson. I saw his name go by the bottom of the screen during the Anderson/Goth girl scene (I knew it was too funny and that they had to be trying to sneak something by me!) and googled him. Turns out, he's Milverton, the worst man in England, the blackmailer. And he operates out of the creepiest Island of Misfit Toys I've ever seen.

If he is a blackmailer, what exactly is he watching for so intently in the final clip from "The Empty Hearse"? Who is he attempting to extort with that video? Surely not John, he's got to be the pawn. But who is the message for? There's got to be something I'm missing here, but what? Is he connected to Mary (blue-eyed, poor eyesight)? Does this mean we need to consider the Holmes brothers more carefully?

4. I keep thinking back to the tonal shift. In particular, the humanizing moments we see between Sherlock and Mycroft. Like the Goth girl scene, the Operation Game made me feel all warm and fuzzy and loved. Which immediately makes me suspicious. Are they giving us this information/insight now to use it against later? To manipulate us? Mycroft would be an excellent target for a new criminal mastermind, particularly a blackmailer. What am I missing in all this soft talk about Mycroft's isolation and lonely heart?

So, those are my new thoughts. More thoughts. Too many thoughts. Loved all the Guy Fawkes bits. Want to make an effigy that looks like this one for next year:

Thanks to my sister for all the obsessive screencaps.

More to follow.

Sherlock: The Empty Hearse (Season 3, Episode 1) - More Thoughts and Spoilers

So, first, a correction. Turns out, like Sherlock, I'm fallible.

Anderson's group is called "The Empty Hearse." This is embarrassing and I'm sure I did catch it the first time around but I assumed the real empty hearse of the story was, of course, a pun on Sherlock's empty grave (or sort of empty grave) and the empty car holding all those explosives under Parliament.

My bad.

To make amends:

Don't say I never gave you anything.

In all fairness, for the real fans, it's the few seconds immediately preceding the kiss which are the most epic - when Sherlock runs his hands through his hair. You're going to want to check out the GIF on the BBC One Tumblr. Christmas came late this year.

So, back to the story. There were a couple of moments I've been thinking about since I wrote my initial reaction.

First, the Holmes bros. It seems the Cold War is thawing between the two boys - so much so that they even engage in a battle of the wits (they play Operation. it is just as awesome as you're now imagining). We even get to see a little deductive reasoning on Mycroft's part, which also allows Sherlock the opportunity to pay him back for the "how would you know" line in "Scandal in Belgravia."

Turns out, our little Mycroft is lonely. Awwww.

Don't go and give him a soul now, Gatiss and Moffat. We like our Holmes boys just a little bit more detached than the average human.

We also get to meet Sherlock and Mycroft's parents - played, quite rightly, by Benedict Cumberbatch's real parents. It was sweet to see the whole family together - a bizarre little Christmas card for true fans - and I think it was sporting of the creators to try guess what Sherlock's parents would actually be like. They're so...normal! And sweet! Except, you know, like Benedict Cumberbatch, they sort of reek of old money, even if there isn't any. When Mycroft has to go with them to see "Les Miz," we all would have paid money to see a scene of that.

But you knew that their parents would have to be loving, if nothing else. Look how coddled Sherlock is! He is, essentially, a petulant child with the brain of a genius and the cheekbones of a gangly, foppish Armani model. For tweaked hyper-geniuses, the Holmes boys certainly are well-adjusted.

After all, they didn't turn into Moriarty.

Too soon?

And, of course, I think we need to consider the possibility that Sherlock lies to Anderson about Project Lazarus. He did say there were 13 possibilities once he reached the rooftop of St. Bart's. If he was really going to use Mycroft the entire time, wasn't there really only one possibility once he was on the roof? Come on, now. Of course, with his ego, he was probably banking on being able to talk Moriarty out of killing him entirely.

And, after giggling with child-like glee, kissing. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO.
in fan-fiction.

But the thing I really want to talk about is the Lestrade hug.

Just kidding, but damn do I hope the slashers are going fucking nuts with that today.

No, this is what I want to talk about:

This took forever to find a screencap of but it's important to me because I knew that we would have to contend with the Mary factor.

Was she too good to be true? Let's look at some of Sherlock's deductions about her: cat lover, bakes own bread, part-time nurse, only child, disillusioned, size 12, lib//dem, secret, tattoo, guardian, shortsighted, and, of course, liar.

In fact, liar shows up a lot (not in this particular pic but in others I've seen). Now, to some degree, we are all liars (I lie all the time, about wanting to read Fancy Nancy books or about wanting to watch Caillou) so we shouldn't all immediately jump on the "Mary is evil" bandwagon. But since she's a liar AND she has a secret, I think we need to maybe brace ourselves for the possibility that...

...maybe Mary is evil.

Blue eyes and shortsighted? Could she somehow be connected to the blue-eyed, glasses-wearing big bad we caught our first glimpse of last night? Or is she lying about wanting to help reconcile John and Sherlock? What are her motives here? Is she as good as she seems or will she break up the band?

I hope not. I hope that she is merely human and loving, if not slightly damaged by the vulnerabilities of life, as are we all.

But, let's face it, this is Moffat and Gatiss we're talking about here.

Bitch is probably evil.

Sherlock: The Empty Hearse (Season Three, Episode One)

Look, my fellow Americans, I watched this through some sort of voodoo on my computer (it involved convincing my computer that we live in England. Don't ask). If you don't want spoilers, DON'T READ THIS POST.

Glad we got that covered.

I think tonight's episode was a touching nod to the fans.

By which I mean, Moffat and Gatiss clearly trolled the internet to find the most amazing of the crazy theories and just ran with it. I love that Anderson has essentially turned into the Mad Hatter (Hatter being what I will lovingly call a "Sherlock conspiracy theorist"). His introductory scheme was, perhaps, the most entertaining few moments of television I have had all week. It is only surpassed by Scottish Goth Girl's version of what exactly happened on that roof.

Andrew Scott and Benedict Cumberbatch deserve Emmys for that scene. Seriously.

But I digress, if you want to know how it plays out, here you go:

Sherlock is in it with Molly and Mycroft (obviously). His reaction to Moriarty's death is genuine - he should have seen it coming, but did not. He knew he needed to make his death convincing but he also needed to, you know, live. He texts Mycroft letting him know the plan is on, his homeless network and Mycroft's men keep everyone at bay and close off access to the street (like a movie lot), they set up a blue stunt/fall pad, meanwhile the body of the kidnapper is tossed on the ground in order for John to see a Sherlock-esque body lying there. All the equipment gets packed up quickly, Sherlock trades places with the dead body, which gets quickly carted out of sight, he gets surrounded, the squash ball gets put into play, and he is window-dressed to look dead all by the time John gets back on his feet and to him.

Ta da!

Were you all right???

I was close. I knew Mycroft and Molly had to be involved. I guessed my hubs was right about the squash ball (although they never explain what the thing in Sherlock's hand was). I did not see the tarpyfallpad thing but did guess that they put a Sherlock-alike dead body on the ground to switch places with.

Like Anderson, I felt like they're would be more.

Anderson's theory was far more elaborate - masks get used, Moriarty's body gets used, Sherlock and Molly kiss, it's FANTASTIC. But Anderson is like a deranged version of his idiotic former self. He seems to have had some sort of manic break here. I don't know what to do with that.

He heads up a small group of Baker Street Irregulars (not the homeless network, more like a group of believers who are not, to my knowledge, called the Irregulars. But there was a lot of buffering going on).
The Goth Girl's version should be the stuff of every Sherlock fangirl;s dreams.

Want a taste?



The rest of the stuff here is pretty basic mystery solving. Sherlock comes home, rescued by Mycroft (sort of), cleaned up, and returned to the wild of London. John briefly dabbles with an aging mustache (it doesn't last), and we get introduced to Mary, who, I gotta say, I LOVE.

I was really worried about her, because she usually gets played like Yoko Ono and so far there's not a hint of that being the direction here. THANK GOD. I don't want a woman who will break up John and Paul. I want a woman who will sing with the band.

Molly Hooper is also in fine form. Not only does she get to kiss Sherlock this episode (albeit, once in a fantasy sequence), she is also engaged. Before you get too excited and start thinking she's moved on, fear not, she is the same old Molly. Her fiance looks like Matt Smith playing Benedict Cumberbatch playing Sherlock.

It's amazing.

Verdict is out on whether she dresses him for the part or he is THAT into Sherlock. I hope time will tell.

Of course, we also get introduced to this season's big bad. We know he has blue eyes and wears glasses. He also has white hair and a penchant for watching black and white film. Particularly film of Sherlock saving Watson from a fiery death.

Creepy.

Honestly, I was a little disappointed in the big reveal. I think the writers knew that would be the case, though, and that's partly why they gave us such epic variations from the peanut gallery. Of course there will be holes in the plan. And we still don't have a particularly good idea why Sherlock didn't include John (aside from John's need to blog about everything, thus, possibly ruining the big secret), since, you know, everyone else seemed to have an idea.

Although, can I just say, one of my favorite scenes this week was when Lestrade hugs Sherlock. Seriously. I squee-ed a little.

Looking forward to next week already.

Laterz.